Colin Powell’s Leadership Lessons: Why Kindness Was His Greatest Strength

One day, when serving as Assistant Secretary to Colin Powell, my family headed for an apple orchard. My daughter announced she wanted “to pick apples for Colin Powell.” Funny, but she did. The next day, I delivered them, what dads do. What Colin Powell did next … is what leaders do.

Colin Powell was a remarkable National Security Advisor to President Reagan, a superb Army General, and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs who stopped Defense Secretary Cheney from using tactical nuclear weapons. Powell was a great Secretary of State, but most of all, he was a kind man.

Until near his death, we kept up. While we never talked politics, we did talk diplomacy, history, Reagan, life, and even about Maine. He had a servant’s heart. He was unapologetically concerned for people, not always easy in high politics. He valued people and the American Dream above all.

When he first got to State, he spent days going from building to building, meeting hundreds of people, shaking hands, asking names, about families, and work goals. People connected with him.

Two years later, a member of my team who worked across town came to a meeting looking puzzled. I asked what was up. She said she had bumped into the Secretary for the first time in two years. She went quiet. I said that was nice. She shook her head.

“No, it has been two years, and he remembered me by name … and my kids’ names,” she said. “How does he do that?” I had no idea, but knew he cared deeply about people, their families, and lives. He always said, and his life was proof: “If you care about your people, they will care about you.”

Powell was that guy who came from nothing, worked hard, served 30 years in the US Army, which cannot have been easy in the 1960s for a Black American. One of his secrets was – and we saw it daily – he took nothing personally. Another was that he loved hard work and believed in America.

If you are looking for a mentor, a man who works hard, loves America, stays calm under fire, and cares about people – to the point of knowing their names, about their families and dreams, Colin Powell was that man. His politics aside, the example he set was commanding, inspiring, and real.

Years earlier, as he wrote in “It Worked for Me,” he had been a “warden” in the Episcopal Church, the church he grew up in. A priest had come to the parish, over time, given help to many, and needed help. One lesson this priest left with Powell was this, quoting Powell: “Always show more kindness than seems necessary, because the person receiving it needs it more than you will ever know.”

Fascinating and true, isn’t it? We know people for their public-facing side – and yet people, even those we think we know well, often suffer in silence, need that bit of kindness that costs us nothing.

Or as Jimmy Stewart’s character in “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey, learns the hard way from his “Guardian Angel,” there is a powerful, unchanging truth in selflessly giving. “One life touches so many …” Powell knew that truth, and lived it every day. I saw it all the time, no loss of awareness.

Think about these next words. They came directly out of Colin Powell’s mouth, a straight line to his leadership philosophy, arguably the basis for his success, however you measure success.

Powell said, “Don’t just show kindness in passing or to be courteous. Show it in depth, show it with passion, and expect nothing in return.  Kindness is not just about being nice; it’s about recognizing another human being who deserves care and respect.”

So, here was a boss who – with our whole team – went after bad guys around the world, had been a lifetime soldier, helped take down terrorists, drug traffickers, and crooks without apology, yet was also that man who, also without apology, gave what he had while he could, to others.

That was a man we had in leadership – under multiple presidents – for 50 years. To this day, people who worked with him, who observed him up close, read him, understood him, benefit from his leadership example, much of it forged in adversity, Vietnam, and Reagan, to the Middle East.

So, what did Colin Powell do when my young daughter’s dad delivered a bag of apples to Helen, who then passed them along to the Secretary, explaining the story? At 10:00 pm that same night, as I worked away down the hall, his executive assistant showed up in my doorframe.

“Bobby, the Secretary wanted me to give this to you,” he said, then gone. It was an envelope. In large handwriting, so my young daughter could read it, the Secretary of State, former Chairman of Joint Chiefs, four-star general, national security advisor to Reagan, had written my daughter’s name.

That weekend, my daughter was thrilled to open the envelope, and we watched. Inside was a card. On it, the Secretary had written: “Dear Sophia … Thank you. I love apples. Thank you so much for picking those for me. Your friend, Colin Powell.” If he did that once, he did it 10,000 times.

That is leadership. Always, the leader for whom others will do anything… is the one who cares about his people, really cares, is determined that caring matters, and who is kind. We need more of them.

Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, Maine attorney, ten-year naval intelligence officer (USNR), and 25-year businessman. He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (North Country Press, 2018), and “Cherish America: Stories of Courage, Character, and Kindness” (Tower Publishing, 2024). He is the National Spokesman for AMAC. Today, he is running to be Maine’s next Governor (please visit BobbyforMaine.com to learn more)!