D’Artagnan for President

D’Artagnan is the perfect candidate for president. He is my dog. He understands America, as only a naturalized dog could. He was a rescue, picked up by Americans off the streets of Socie, Russia in 2014, as Russians went about shooting dogs to “clean up” for the Olympics. He loves his freedom.

How much does he love freedom?  To borrow from the Victorian poet, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “Let me count the ways.”

D’Artagnan is a selfless fellow, but grateful. He knows having freedom involves doing his part. He protects our border, where the door meets the world, which involves lots of bark, and preparedness to bite. With no opposable thumb, firearms are out, but he’s got opposable teeth and lungs and knows how to use them.

He taxes me little, just for the occasional treat, fresh water, a bowl of food. He deducts nothing from my paycheck, does not steal from the table, and trusts my judgment with charity, which he gets on occasion, making giving and getting nicer.

He welcomes other dogs but with limits. They do not come inside our border, do not get free stuff, and are not allowed to do “odd jobs” around the deck or yard.

He is a clear thinker, and like many clear thinkers loves to play as much as work. We both do. He has a talent for keeping his eye on the ball, but – in truth – had to learn to play. Perhaps fear and a rough youth robbed him of the freedom to play, but he learned, and in learning taught me something. Free societies play.

His love of freedom – appreciation for it – is genuine. He runs outside but always comes back, wags, thanks, and does not complain. On one occasion, he did bump into a black-and-white sort in the woods, a bitter fellow. He is more cautious now.

He values free speech and uses it to good ends. Generous of heart, he first taught our other dog to bark, which she never had – a mixed blessing. Then, he taught the parakeet to bark – no blessing. But he is a born teacher, an affectionate streak, and tries to bring along those of a different feather, something he seems good at.

Like his namesake, he is a determined sort, even without a sword. Although he is, like most of us, a mut, he is also alert, curls his front leg and points if he hears something in the woods, stands for long minutes smelling the air, natural defender.

While he can tolerate office life, he prefers the outdoors, is not big on being held captive, resists unfair treatment, and expects due process. He is more creative unleashed, and has no interest in anything “cruel and unusual,” would not have it.

When it comes to rights, he knows his depends on allowing others theirs, and has no issue with that. He does not invade the homes of others, does no odd jobs, and gives room.

Loyalty to good ideas and people, which helped define our nation, comes naturally. He will sit nearby, flop ear, upturned eyes, quick to do as asked, ever attentive.

For better or worse, he hears me speaking or watches me reading and seems interested, perhaps wondering if a dog could run for president. He likes running.

Much of our communication is non-verbal of course, which suggests intelligence, since he only speaks when needed, or when eyebrows need added clarification.

So, the other day, we had a look at the presidential debates, away from which he wandered in disgust several times, once for the food bowl, once for water, once to express his opinions of the whole mess outside, from which he returned relieved.

After our review was over, he seemed to perk up, want to play or talk, stretch his legs, and run, so we did a bit of that. I think it was on his mind that a dog could do better than the Democrat candidate, and he seemed to want to explore that idea.

We discussed it, each in our own way, inspired for a moment. Running appealed to him, to me seemed a viable option: D’Artagnan for President. But no go.

He realized his love of freedom was too strong; he would never make a good Democrat. Besides, we discovered that naturalized dogs cannot run for president. So, he just wagged, looked at the door, and another ran into the store. He loves freedom, and loving it so teaches me, to love it more.