Choose Discomfort

The principle is simple:  Do the right thing, often hard physically, spiritually, emotionally, and politically, and it may earn you ire, demotion, pain, prejudice, and rejection. Still, choose discomfort.

Often in life, gray is what defines the way ahead, not bright light, not utter darkness, but the choice to move forward or stay still. Imagine a great fog surrounding you, yet events press you to decide through the uncertainty, knowing you may be wrong, may be right, or may never know.

Framed differently, the gray of life may be awakening to malaise, ambivalence, discouragement, or exhaustion, which tends to convince us that easy choices are better; generally, they are not. If you can find the strength or make it a habit, try the hard thing, you tend to grow stronger.

As Churchill observed, “Things are not always right because they are hard, but if they are right one must not mind if they are also hard.” Robert Frost quipped, “The best way out is through.”

Other domains are similar. Having worked for Colin Powell, I am often reminded of his simple words, and his enduring, consistent approach to life, not one without frustration, disappointment, management of anger, and uncertainty, but one that worked, like following a map and compass, despite human doubt.

Among his dictums, phrased differently on different days but lived with focus, was that “leadership” boils down to “solving problems,” not letting them linger, not fobbing them off on others, not imagining inaction generates an acceptable outcome, but stepping up.

Another of his practiced principles was “get mad, and get over it.” In short, you face things – often in times of uncertainty and in a normal life – that are new, confusing, frustrating, contrary to expectations, and unjust as you see it. They will pass. They always do.

When it comes to being led or choosing your own direction, you may find yourself alone, might have chosen wrongly, get blamed by others for what initially seemed logical, grounded, and right at the time, just accept and go on. Life is consistently imperfect, all are. Decisions must be made.

As Powell proved, over and over, we make mistakes. He did, we all do. Leaders know it, accept it, and keep moving forward, knowing forgiveness and faith through discomfort is the way we move ahead. Every decision we make, he used to say, is made with incomplete information.

As he saw it, we are all best to make what we think is the right choice – as we assess it – starting with 40 percent of the information we think we will get; when we approach 70 percent,  we need to then make the decision, hoping we are right, prepared to reverse course if not.

On matters of faith, while many speak from the heart, and the Bible may be the best source for making decisions – often with discomfort – one is reminded again of Powell. If that surprises you, it should not, as people who make good decisions tend to have strong faith. He did.

Powell was a lifetime Episcopal, active participant in his church from youth. When he died, a close friend rose and went to the front of the church, explaining Powell “loved the church… loved the liturgy… loved the high hymns, which made him extremely happy.” Powell respected the church, and had his faith; Sunday calls – as the speaker relayed – were conducted after church.

What most do not like to think about is this, and Powell was one of many who proved the adage. We are all presented with choices, some exceedingly hard. We try to do the right thing and may have to double back, but the key is what animates us. Easy is easy; better often involves discomfort.