Unofficial Rules of Holiday Gift Giving

Gift giving doesn’t have to be a complicated affair. But know that there are some basic unwritten etiquette rules to follow. Knowing them can help avoid uncomfortable or awkward moments. Here goes some of the most important ones:

• Whether giving or receiving, be grateful and gracious.
• Always send a thank you note for gifts received, whether you like the gift or not.
• Be more concerned with giving than receiving.
• Do not set your expectations too high.
• Do not tell someone you do not like their gift. If something does not fit or match your style, you may regift it
• Know that it’s appropriate to bring your host or hostess a gift.
• If you are unclear whether you are exchanging gifts with someone, simply ask them.
• Keep your gifts appropriate and tasteful.
• Be culturally aware to avoid offending anyone.
• If you don’t know what someone wants for a gift, simply ask them for ideas.
• When giving a gift to one co-worker alone, not the whole group, do so in private.
• Avoid gag gifts unless that is the theme.
• Stay within your comfort level of spending.
• Select gifts that are useful or meaningful and age appropriate.
• Gift cards are okay in some circumstances, especially if that is what someone wants.
• Going in together on holiday gifts is okay. Just be sure the person doing the planning/shopping is responsible and that everyone who contributed toward the gift gets credit.
• Including a gift receipt is a great idea. That way the gift recipient may return or exchange an item if need be.
• If someone gives you a gift, you are not necessarily obligated to give them one back. However, you may choose to do an act of kindness or give them something in return in the future.
• Tips are greatly appreciated around the holidays by many hardworking individuals.
• If you lack funds to exchange gifts, be honest about it and suggest holding off until next year.
• Donations may be made in lieu of gifts – but only do so for organizations your recipient favors and only if it is their preference.
• Cash is an acceptable present but only under special circumstances. For example, a young college student might like cash whereas Grandma might enjoy a more personal gift.
• It’s okay to buy your pet a birthday or Christmas present should you wish, though sometimes you may get more pleasure out of it than them.
• If gift giving with the extended family is too expensive or time consuming, talk to the other family members about pulling names and having everyone buy for one person. They may feel the same way you do. If not, it’s okay to opt out or give gift cards set to what you can afford.
• When pulling names out of a hat for gifts, set a ballpark price (eg. gifts should be about $20).
• Get kids involved in the gift giving process, including helping to select, wrap, and deliver gifts. That way they will develop appreciation for both gift giving and receiving. They should also be taught to write thank you notes.

Giving gifts is an act of kindness, a way to let someone know that they are remembered, appreciated, and special. During the holiday season, it reflects the spirit of giving and being generous to others. Not only does giving presents take money and time, but it also requires thoughtfulness to find that special something to make another person happy. However, rather than focus on what you get or give materially, your holiday experience can be greatly enriched by focusing on service to others, spreading joy, having compassion, and demonstrating a true appreciation of the non-material gifts we possess, such as the blessings we gain from time spent with good neighbors and loving family and friends.

Sources:

Real Simple (Holiday gift giving explained)

Investopedia (Gift giving etiquette – a brief guide)

Giftster (15 unspoken rules of etiquette)

The NY Times (How to Navigate gift giving season)