The swell came over the boat’s stern without warning – like a dam bursting. Lobstermen are calm, and he was. Three-quartering into another swell midwinter, ten miles off Maine’s coast, he turned, faced me. My eyes caught his. Now what?
Hard working Americans – especially those who use their hands, work in the woods, or on the ocean – are calm by nature. They have to be. Calm is a weapon, or a defense, and how all Americans used to be, were proud to be, a national trait.
Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and leader in the 2nd Century – although likely not a lobsterman – wrote: “The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” There is wisdom in this, a kind of lost truth, dearly needing re-discovery.
Henry V, when outnumbered five-to-one at Agincourt, appealed to his men, saying “If our minds are in the trim,” we will prevail. They got their minds there, and did.
Former Navy SEAL Mark Devine explained the trait in combat – with an enemy, with nature, or even with yourself – like this. “Resilience is not an inherited trait. It is a disciplined practice – a way of showing up that is cultivated over time through deliberate training of the body, mind, and spirit.” That is, let us say, point one.
Point two: “In high-stress environments, whether on the battlefield …or in the turmoil of daily life, the ability to remain steady amid volatility is what separates reactive living from intentional leadership.” It may also separate life from death.
Point three: “What many discover, often through hardship, is that resilience is less about bracing against impact … more about widening the internal space between stimulus and response. That space allows for clarity, intentionality, and courage.”
On that lobster boat that long ago day, “clarity, intentionality, and courage” were much needed. But before I tell you what happened, think about where we are now.
Today, everywhere you turn – whether discussing family, school, politics, weather, nature’s next move, law enforcement, parental rights, freedom of speech, religion, gun ownership, due process, equal protection, civil rights, or limiting government – emotionalism is the instant, thoughtless default, not reason, rationality, and calm.
Slippage – a radical slippage – from valuing calm over emotionalism, putting self-discipline over indulgence, rewarding truth and responsibility over false and self-serving narratives, accusations and excuses – is accelerating, and it is dangerous.
Simply put, in life – as in combat and at sea – high value must attach again, as in the past, to calm under stress, reason over emotion, respect for law, honor, and self-respect over agitators, rabble rousers, excuse makers, and untethered emotion.
What books will not tell you – but is worth knowing, what you only learn where life and death meet, decisions matter, and emotionalism kills, is that if you can gather your fraying emotions, lash them tight with intention, you not only help society, but you help yourself. If you practice calm, it will one day save your life.
So, a howling winter wind our ears, stern breached by a swell, out on the open ocean with no recourse but calm, the Captain’s eyes locked mine, and he calmly said, as he held firm to the wheel, “Go pull the drain plug, center bottom, stern.” I did what I was told, his calm infusing me with calm, and soon the boat drained.
When social media, opinionated neighbors, angry strangers, those who fill their idle time protesting, belligerently tearing down order, and promoting chaos try to drag you out, remember the drain plug, and choose calm over emotionalism. You will be glad you did, even if you never find yourself lobstering midwinter.
Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, Maine attorney, ten-year naval intelligence officer (USNR), and 25-year businessman. He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (North Country Press, 2018), and “Cherish America: Stories of Courage, Character, and Kindness” (Tower Publishing, 2024). He is National Spokesman for AMAC. Today, he is running to be Maine’s next Governor. BobbyforMaine.com
Wonderful CALMING WORDS! Reminds me “BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!”
RBC, very good article today. I remember an incident in the Indian ocean during a deployment. It was during monsoon season, and the waves were consistently 6-8 feet high. There was problem with the gun mount on the forecastle and there 10 personnel working on the problem including the captain. The ship was hit by a freak 25-foot wave on the forecastle. Thankfully, nobody was washed overboard but everyone was thoroughly drenched.
Whether on land , in the air or at sea readiness for the unexpected,the unforseen is a good quality to have. At the foundation of dealing with emergency situations is the idea of remaining calm during the episode so as to be able to think clearly , intelligently and make the right decisions that will make survival possible.There are many circumstances that can occur and timing can have a profound influence on how the emergency is best handled. Preparation for dealing with emergency / survival situations can be made by practicing resourcefulness and the thinking about geometric reasoning. Keeping in mind too the matter of Faith. The story of Christ calming the storm on the Sea of Galilee – there is a good bit of history on the topic of being calm. Christ performed that miracle as a lesson on the value of having Faith and that the quality of being calm when needed is connected to having Faith. . Things that encourage and promote using good sense as a result of having a sense of purpose ,and living by a code of conduct are marks of having good character. Trust in oneself , trust in others makes for practicing calm , being at the ready in order to handle survival situations in a right,proper manner.
My father, an Air Force fighter pilot and Vietnam veteran, taught me that in high stress and/or potentially dangerous situations, the most important thing to do was to control my emotions and the urge to panic because “reacting based on emotions and panic kills”.
Wow, the timing on releasing article was magnificent. As we get ready to begin Trump’s second year of his second term I can’t think of a better emotional state to strive for than calmness. Working just as hard, but calmly being smart and persistent about it. Thank you Robert.
Indeed, all my most competent moments in life happened only after I was calm!
Reminds me of Rudyard Kipling’s “If”.
I wish all you democraps would leave the great state of Texasand move to the west coast. Texas Tex my foot
Terrific article. Needs to be instilled in our youth. I did my best by repeating as necessary to my child: “When all else fails, feign confidence”.