No, this isn’t a satirical Babylon Bee headline: “‘Black Women Can’t Swim Because of Societal Expectations’: Michelle Obama’s Viral Claim Sparks Controversy.”
The former first lady, in a live podcast, recently said: “Let me explain something to white people. Our hair comes out of our head naturally in a curly pattern. So, when we’re straightening it to follow your beauty standards, we are trapped by the straightness.
“That’s why so many of us can’t swim, and we run away from the water. People won’t go to the gym because we’re trying to keep our hair straight for y’all. It is exhausting, and it is so expensive, and it takes up so much time!”
Who knew that black women straighten their hair to conform to the expectations of whites? Even worse, who knew this oppressive white standard of beauty, according to Obama, has the real-world effect of preventing black kids from learning to swim?
Now, Obama is partially right. I grew up in then-all-black South Central Los Angeles at a time when virtually every kid in the neighborhood had a mom and a dad in the house. The fathers either taught the kids to swim or expected the kids to learn. The public pool was almost a mile away, and we had no problem walking there and back with a rolled-up towel under our arms with our swimming trunks inside.
Today, most black kids are raised by their mother or grandmother — and they DO NOT want to get their hair wet. Therefore, the kids aren’t learning to swim. Virtually every neighborhood, no matter how poor, has some sort of recreational center and/or public pool nearby, and there are often swimming lessons available for little or no money.
It’s just not a priority for the mothers to get their boys to learn to swim. And, like Mom, the girls don’t want to ruin their hair. But I NEVER heard any girl or woman say they straightened their hair to meet expectations of white people.
As for black kids failing to learn to swim, this is a real issue. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: “Drowning death rates for Black people under age 30 are 1.5 times higher than the rates for White people. Disparities are highest among Black children ages 5-9 (rates 2.6 times higher) and ages 10-14 (rates 3.6 times higher).”
I received a letter from a self-described “white woman with broom straight hair”: “When I grew up in the late 60’s to mid 60’s, my peers, as well as my mom, wanted curly hair. Mom had her hair permed, maybe every three months. Very few of the girls in my high school had naturally curly hair, so most of them got perms. I was in the first or second grade when Mom started home perming my hair. This continued until I was out of high school.
“One girl I remember had naturally wavy hair and that wasn’t enough. She got a shag and then frosted her hair. Who knew we were engaging in ‘cultural appropriation’ to make our hair more curly, while blacks, according to Michelle, make their hair more straight?
“Oh, the humanity!”
Speaking of straightening hair for white folks and being “trapped by the straightness,” one wonders whether Obama discussed this with her friend, “civil rights activist” Al “no justice, no peace” Sharpton, who has long straightened his hair.
Permit me to suggest a matter perhaps more deserving of her attention than hair oppression? In Obama’s hometown of Chicago, there are at least 30 public schools, nearly all located in the mostly black Southwest Side of the city, where 0% of the kids can read or do math at grade level. The study failed to note how many kids in these failing schools straighten their hair.
Finally, Obama had another complaint. At a forum with mostly white attendees, Obama, in response to a question about the possibility of a female president, said: “As we saw in this past election, sadly, we ain’t ready. That’s why I’m like, don’t even look at me about running ’cause you are all lying. You’re not ready for a woman.”
Only in America do white liberals pay good money to enrich and hear America’s first black first lady tell them that their “racism” oppresses black ladies.
Larry Elder is a bestselling author and nationally syndicated radio talk-show host. To find out more about Larry Elder, or become an “Elderado,” visit here. Follow Larry on X @larryelder. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage.
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Ok. I’ll just say it. She and Barry are 2 of the biggest racists on the planet. Yeah, I said it.
All I can do if is laugh. Former first lady must have an Autopen for Stupidity.
Mike is a despicable pampered, spoiled, extremely ungrateful, America-hating, angry, white-hating racist. ‘She’ is always unhappy, whines moans, groans and bitches about everything, and is a self-centered, egotistical, elitist hypocrite.
I can’t stand dingle-Barry, but being married to that creature is pure justice for a FAILED presidency and for dividing and destroying this country.
One can only laugh at these two true and despicable deplorables. They are two turds in the DemoCRAP cess pool, deserving of each other.
PLEASE shut your pie-holes and go AWAY. America is MORE than done with both of you.
The Obamas are black racists. They see everything through racist eyes, no different than white racist.
My hair is neither straight nor curly. A better description would be “unruly.” In my younger years, I wished it would go one way or the other. I could deal with stick straight hair and look like The Beach Boys. Curly hair would have been fine too — cut it short and no problem on windy days. I am solving this issue in my old age by losing it altogether. It seems to me that Michelle Obama is just trying to widen the racial divide with highly suspect assertions. Remember the “beehives” of the 50s. Some of you are going to need to look that up I am sure. Well, those girls sure didn’t want to get their hair wet but somehow they learned to swim.
The only nightmare I can foresee that if M. Obama ran as a 2028 candidate for the office of President and won, this would be the end of our nation.
Mr. Elder, I always enjoy the way you weave humor into your stories. Mrs. Obama might want to take the issue of straight vs curly hair up with God.
What a strange topic to form an interview around but that is and has been the nature of the Obamas, strange but always blame the whites. Thankfully they are of little significance these days and not necessary to listen to much of anything either might have to say.
Darn! Gotta fess up, folk. As a White, Christian, Staight, Medicare-recipient male, it’s MY fault that Moochelle is black. I’m so sorry.
It’s a human fact, we all want something that someone else has or is. I went to a California high-school in 60’s-70s and black kids did not know how to swim, but they did know how to terrorize white kids in the shallow end. That being said, there was segregation even in the pool divided by those unable to swim. This nonsense of that getting one’s hair wet is typical of using social issues as justification for their excuses and blaming others just because they can.
Michelle also said that America is not ready for a female president. I disagree, BUT the country is NOT ready for one with this kind of logic.
Is this some weird admission that black women think they have to be like white women to be worth something? Why on earth would they think that? Michelle, you are such a racist.
Hey, it’s a rough life with armed Secret Service for life, living in several mansions, private helicopters, jets and having to hire people to cook, clean and count your money. Then there’s books she didn’t write. Her podcasts few listen to. Then to top it off being an America hating Race Pimp. Yes, she has it rough. We’ll just never understand.
Great article, Mr. Elder!!! Poor oppressed Michelle!!! She(?) and beta-male Barry live on the beach and likely have a swimming pool, but hair style dictated by white privilege is the big obstacle to her swimming ability??? What’s she smoking???
I’m wondering why anyone would accept the societal norms of a different group. If you don’t want to straighten your hair, don’t straighten your hair.
Poor poor Michelle , nothing better to do than whine about oppression, by one of AMERICAS richest black. How about just appreciating what America gave you and still giving, and shut up and go away. As for an American president, if you could even put a sentence together with actual English wording instead of trying to appease the hood , maybe you could sound legit as a real woman. Wa, wa, wa. Please go away !
OMG! Now I have heard it all!
So, is Michelle Obama saying that she doesn’t know how to swim now? If yes, what is stopping her from learning how to swim now? Could it be that she doesn’t want to get her hair wet?
I have no words. Everything she said was idiotic like herself. Nothing the Obamas are racists
she is completely looney – “i am a white people” i have never heard such a thing – let alone thought it! she must be elliminated from all public platforms. persaps a thorough mental assessment would hwlp.
What do you expect from this nut case?
Rich, Democratic Racists. That’s kind of a contradiction in terms isn’t it? I thought the democrats were all about unity? Oh, that’s right, That was just a campaign slogan! They couldn’t care less about us normal folks, all their are worried about is WEALTH, POWER and CONTROL thru corruption!
This is what happens when God turns you over to a reprobate mind. She needs our prayers. She needs to realize that “eternity” is a long time if she doesn’t repent. I’m praying for her? Are you? I pray you are!
This from the Harvard supposedly graduate, no comment, desperate, grasping for air not straw. Shameful, pitiful, small.
This woman needs to join the 40% of women who want to leave the U.S. and actually do it! She is racist, ungrateful and has always hated this country and most the people in it. Some of the things she has said lately on some pod cast are classless and ridiculous. The O’Bamas were one of the worst couples to ever live in the White House.
You aren’t doing it for me, you’re doing it for you. Sorry you are allowing yourself to feel oppressed in some way.
WWWWWaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
;0)
Don’t get their hair wet? So does that mean they don’t wash their hair because of their personal choice to straighten it? Just the thought of that……..
Well Big Mike said what we all been worried about for a while. It’s the white folks fault once again. Who would have known?
Michelle, just like Hilly, Kackles, Megan Markle, Jazzy Crockett, and others, always blathering, anything to try to maintain a vestige of relevance which has ultimately vanished.
I remember when black kids were integrated into the school system I was attending. The interesting thing was kids worked through it much better than the adults. The adults were the ones creating the problems. This is why we have racial differences today because some parents from both colors didn’t want to grow up and work together. If the children had been allowed to be children and not be exposed to the prejudices of either side perhaps this nation would be more sound footing. At least racial speaking.
Thank you Larry! at 80, I’m hoping to get a ‘curly’ perm soon! Love the curls! My hair is naturally straight – so wish it was curly!
Michelle just proved, even an educated Black person is dumber than a box of rocks.
Way to go being a black person keeping your racism going. None of what she says is ever fact based.
it’s people like her that keep racism alive. On purpose.
Wow. Michelle Obama talks like whites don’t have those little curls, and couldn’t possibly understand what it is like to have them. I had them, we were poor, and my Mom made me sleep in rollers with Dippidy Doo on my hair nearly every night because she wanted to be able to comb my hair. When I went swimming I had, what I call, a ball of frizz on my head. After I grew up, I learned to accept what my hair naturally does. Either you accept your own hair, or you try to conform to other’s ideas of what hair should look like. So sad to see that some see it as racism.
Stop already with the “you are all racists” talk. Historically many did not learn to swim because most were living in the cities without access to pools/water. Nothing to do with hair. Good God woman – give it a rest!
if whites can prevent blacks from learning to swim and how to wear their hair, does that prove “white superiority”?
To think this woman was our 1st lady for 8yrs
WOW what a insult , don’t know about anyone else but I’m tired of being called racist just because I’m white. Perhaps you need history lesson some of us actually supported the civil rights acts. You want to talk about racism take a good look in the mirror because your party is full of it . Who do think started the Klu klux klan. So do us all a favor take take your garbage shove it
This woman so stupid
This is ridiculous why do you have blame anyone?
Mike Obama is a racist nut!
OMG! That is the stupidest thing I ever heard. Maybe that’s why I stretch my weiner to meet the expectations of black men.
Won’t you and your miserable husband just go away.
we have an answer to Charley Kirk’s question “What can a white person do that a black person can’t do”:
learn to swim
What a bunch of krap! Who cares what Mx.Obama has to say? Have to wonder, what book she is hawking…..people can’t swim because they never learned……has NOTHING to do with your hair…..shave your head and prove it yourself Michelle.
Always the victim.
Black people dont swim because of me…
Glad to know i accomplished SOMETHING in my 60+ years here on God’s green earth!!!
As a White woman who’s hair comes out of my head very very thick and curly, who do I get to blame for how hard and expensive it is to deal with?
Hey Larry, keep poking the racist bear. All women and even men have the right and opportunity to wear their hair short enough or with a cap. And to wear a muzzle,mask or gag to keep their shortsighted opinions to themselves or for themselves and their fellow ignorant collaborators. The above writer has had the privilege to coach, black hair, white hair, Samoan hair, Mexican hair andJapanese hair with swimmers who’ve worn no caps suffered pre-goggles and even used double layer nylon suit as well as improved technology of all equipment since the early 60s up to the 2000s— including masters participation! Particularly satisfying has been seeing those black and white who have succeeded in swimming related areas such as lifeguarding firefighting, and the Coast Guard in spite of Michell‘s perceived victim status .thank you!