In an era where technology facilitates connections between people, it gives rise to a darker phenomenon known as romance scams. Learn how to protect yourself and others from this common scam.
Online connections
Online dating and social media forums are places where people who desire companionship interact. These interactions put people at risk of being targets of romance scams.
What are romance scams?
Romance scams involve romantic intentions toward victims for the purpose of perpetuating fraud. Scammers tend to prey upon victims who are single, lonely, isolated, or vulnerable to gain access to personal information or money. These scammers pretend to care for their victims for the purpose of gaining their trust. Mainly, romance scammers work to establish close relationships with their victims without meeting them. These con artists typically scam multiple victims at a time.
How romance scams may start
Romance scams may begin on dating websites, social media platforms, or even through text or emails. Scammers create fake profiles, often using stolen photos or fabricated stories to appear attractive and honest. They hide behind fake identities, which is why they never meet their victims.
Who do romance scammers target?
Romance scammers target individuals who are seeking genuine connections, particularly nice people who are vulnerable due to recent life changes or loneliness. They frequently scam older people who live solo or face some judgement or memory declines. Senior citizens are also targeted because they have a lifetime of savings accumulated for the scammer to steal.
What happens?
Once contact is established, the scammer quickly works to build a sense of intimacy and trust. They may exchange countless messages, engaging in deep conversations, and simulating romantic gestures. They may send “stolen” photos of an attractive individual to the innocent victim being scammed, accompanied by reasons why they cannot meet in person. The goal is to create a strong emotional bond that makes the victim less likely to question the scammer’s motives.
Red flags
Red flags are warning signs. Here are some to indicate a romance scam:
- Too good to be true. Scammers often present themselves as highly attractive, accomplished individuals who are inexplicably single.
- Fast-tracked relationship. They profess love usually quickly, often within days or weeks of initial contact.
- Inconsistent stories. Their background stories may have inconsistencies or vague details. Or photos sent may be “fake.” Click here to learn more.
- Avoidance of face-to-face meetings. They make excuses to meet or have video calls, often claiming to be working overseas or in the military.
- Request for gifts/money/help. Eventually, they ask for financial help, citing (fake) health or pet emergencies or travel expenses as examples. These requests are usually urgent and come after the victim’s trust is secured. They may promise to pay back loaned money. This, of course, is a lie.
- Asking for “help” via unconventional methods. Romance scammers tend to ask for money using atypical forms of fast money transfers that are not traceable or reversible, such as cash, gift cards, or bitcoins. This serves to steal funds while hiding their identity.
Stop, don’t touch your money!
Understand that if someone you’ve never met face to face is asking you for money or personal information, you are likely being scammed.
Look out for yourself. If someone you are romantically involved with asks you for money – do not simply give it to them. Instead, seek the guidance of an independent trusted financial advisor (a CPA you find on your own for example). Be completely honest with them and consider their professional advice. Do not seek financial counsel from anyone recommended by a love interest.
Guard your personal information. For your own security, never share personal information such as your social security number, bank account information, or send money to a romantic interest you met on the internet.
Report threats. Never succumb to pressure. If you say no, a romance scammer (posing as a love interest) may threaten you with a breakup or even bodily harm if you do not supply money. This is part of the scam. End contact straight away. If you fear for your life or safety or lost money or personal information to a scammer, promptly notify the police.
Educate others.
Have open dialogues and share information that can help protect other people from falling victim to romance scams.
Dangers of pursuing romance
Romance scams can happen to anyone looking for love. Per cybsafe.com, 1 in 5 people say they have been victims of romance scams, so it is commonplace. It is advisable for individuals to proceed carefully in any relationship and remain vigilant against potential scams.
Tricking victims
Romance scammers rarely meet their victims. Instead, they make up elaborate stories or excuses for the purpose of manipulation – mainly to gain access to the victim’s identity or money. Romance scammers are con artists who ultimately seek to inflict financial and emotional harm on their victims in the end. So, be wise and think twice. If you notice red flags, it’s best to shut down communications immediately to protect oneself from being scammed.
Disclosure: This article is for general information only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice.
This story fits a friend of mine ” To a T.” After her divorce she would engage in online relationships. I told her she was being scammed. She is still meeting men online. I told her to never, ever give these men any info about me. Her life is one drama after another. I have distanced myself from our friendship, only occasionally texting with her.
I had someone try a scam on me, but it didn’t work. Ask for money–goodbye and good riddance,
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It is sad to think that there are so many lonely people in the world. They are the most vulnerable in our society. It is good that there are now more warnings about this terrible crime in the media. If you have a senior person in your family or among friends, remember to keep in contact and let them know you can be trusted if they need to discuss any issues with you.
Unfortunately I’ve been victimized several times of this. How sad that they’re are scammers out there without a conscious. God will judge us all in the end and these criminals though won’t pay for their crimes in this world they’ll pay in the next world. It’s still difficult for me personally to live alone and this type of behavior makes it worse.