No, the Biden Administration is not really going to ban farts, or three-quarters of the White House might be under investigation, but something serious is afoot – and the absurd nature of it is worth seeing through the lens of farts.
Biden’s Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the World Health Organization (WHO), recently enlisted to defend China, now advises we should ban gas stoves.
Yes, gas stoves – in use since the 1920s –produce methane, like cows and humans, but banning them seems a bit “beyond,” something even Orwell never imagined.
According to the EPA, gas stoves produce methane, and may contribute to “asthma, cardiovascular problems, cancer, and other health conditions,” unlike the stress banning them would produce.
EPA cites a study “of 53 homes” in the Journal of Environmental Technology, edited by Berkely and Yale, to support this idea. The study – as a reference for national policy – is a joke. It controls for no dependent variables or outside sources, does not identify stove types or ages, is hardly double-blind.
It draws emission inferences from 53 stoves, and gingerly applies them to 40 percent of the homes in America. Finally, it makes no medical statements whatsoever, just laments climate change.
The only other source for this eye-popping regulatory scheme is the Institute for Policy Integrity, a New York group tied to the Environmental Defense Fund and Union of Concerned Scientists, neither known for entertaining diverse views.
The craziness of this scheme, however – another way to dictate life – comes when average and inquiring minds look around at where most methane comes from.
Half of all methane in the atmosphere comes from animal and human waste, a fifth emitted from breakdown in other organic matter. Cows account for 44 percent, landfills 21 percent, non-dairy livestock 10 percent, wastewater three percent – and get this – oil and gas extraction five percent.
Notably, gas stoves – of any kind, at any age, seem hardly the culprit, while five “surprising sources” of methane in the atmosphere are “hydroelectric dams,” “arctic ice,” “the ocean,” “compost” and “rice farming.” And that data comes from environmentalists.
While “coal mining” produces eight percent of methane, circular reasoning is in play when the government tells us to imagine (sorry “reimagine”) that use of “electric” stoves is somehow cleaner than gas stoves.
Here is why: Just as milk comes from cows – along with those dangerous cow farts – electricity comes from somewhere. Guess where? The power grid. And where does the grid get it? A variety of sources, 80 percent fossil fuels – including coal.
Beyond that 80 percent, the grid gets 10 percent from nuclear, no favorite of the environmentalists, and the rest from eclectic sources, including sun, ocean, and wind.
So, if electric stoves run on fossil fuels, and we aim to replace gas stoves with electric, what is the gain exactly – or is that a net loss for climatic methane? Hmmm.
Then consider reliability. Growing up in Maine, we had a gas stove. Know why? Power went down, and we still had hot food. Same is true for homes with generators – like mine today – which runs on propane if electricity cuts out. With the power grid seeing more brown and blackouts, isn’t gas a good answer?
All this points up the lunacy in deciding, since it is a random day in January, since Biden is president, since we need to do something for the eco-hysterical base, “let’s ban gas stoves!” There is neither logic nor factual support for that choice.
But wait, maybe there is something we could do to lower the level of methane since we are all choking on it – or someone must be. Experts say “the earth’s 1.5 billion cows emit 120 million metric tons per year, responsible for roughly two percent of climate change.” How? Cows eat a lot of grass on the way to milk and steak, leaving things behind, like meadow muffins and farts. No kidding.
Similarly, wild animals – like moose and deer – eat a more variegated, difficult to digest diet, so they produce even more methane than cows. 20 percent more.
But now let’s get to the delicate topic, humans. We actually produce a good deal of this methane ourselves – beyond supplying humanity with energy, food, and throw-away organic waste. “Human wastewater” – together with human waste and farts, freely released around the world – represents 14 to 20 percent of all methane. You see, we have enteric bacteria.
This may sound odd, but if you happen to attend the right conferences, indoor events, or White House meetings; eat the right food at the wrong times, or wrong food anytime, you may find yourself convinced, and this reality easier to believe.
What seems obvious – and apparently is occurring to the Biden White House, as it questions their own EPA regulators’ proposed ban on gas stoves ban, is that the real culprits in this madcap comedy are not gas stoves. They are cows, moose, and humans.
So, where does all this thoughtful, erudite, if not quite polite or aromatic, analysis lead? Where does logic, empirical review, and a dispassionate assessment point us?
If we cannot outlaw “hydroelectric dams,” “arctic ice,” “the ocean,” “compost,” “rice farming,” “cattle” or “dairy” farms or farts – nor the EPA – then we are going to have to do the right thing, and steal ourselves against the inevitable. Biden is going ban cow and human farts. He has to, no other choice – it just stinks.
Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, attorney, and naval intelligence officer (USNR). He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (2018), and is National Spokesman for AMAC.
Robert,This was beautifully (f)articulated.Thank you.
I am sick and tired of bans. Freedom is what America was founded upon.
The single most harmful thing to us is this absurd administration!
Well Pull My Finger!!! Finally, a ban I can agree on!!!
God help us, is there no end to this BS?
The sad part is that the federal government and most politicians, even state and city governments have done such a poor job of governing and such a great job of consistently lying to the American people that we don’t trust what they say anymore!!! Another sad part is that this administration and the more recent Democrat controlled administrations have done considerable damage to our rights and liberties by chipping away at just the small stuff so that maybe we won’t notice that they are taking complete control of everything we do. The gas stove issue is just another Democrat control in an effort to get rid of the oil and gas industry!! We can’t keep allowing our feds to take away our rights and liberties like this!!
So obvious this administration has nothing better to do than sit around trying to create hardships for the Amercian citizen. Next it will be “YOU CAN NO LONGER USE TREES FOR FIREWOOD ” no matter where you find them. Even on your own land, HUH? Think you own your land, just stop paying the annual assessed tax bill and see who owns your land in 90 days.
Robert you had better be careful, this sort of sane reasoning will get you in trouble with the thought police. Keep up the good work.
Now they can hire 87,000 new “Fart police”
Hey Biden. This Poos for You…….
Mr. Charles, your opening joke is sheer genius.
These people are seriously retarded. We have so much cheap gas that if these idiots would go away we the people would be fine. Someone in a year or 10 or 50 years will figure out how to do everything right and we will never notice.
Doesn’t Greta agree with that? There were demonstrations in the German hamlet of Luetzerath because it is going to be bulldozed for a coal strip mine that the government says will supply energy for years to come.
Burning wood quickly releases cabon.
Wouldn’t it be great if we had a president and congress that actually cared about this country? Can you imagine how strong this country would be if we actually had representatives in all areas of government that did what was best for the American people instead of wasting dollars on every move they make. Climate change, the fear mongering lies that are pushed so the rich can get richer (Al Gore and the other millionaires/billionaires at the conference now). They all flew there in their private jets and they have no intention of giving up their toys, even if it does produce more damage to the environment. It’s the working class that must give up the very basics (gas stoves, cars, etc). We have to worry about the cows, but Biden has no problem letting millions of illegal aliens and I’m sure that they have gas too. Along with no money to support themselves. No person that cares about this country would take gas away without having the plan in place and working. Would leave Afghanistan without getting everyone of the Americans and supporting people out first so there would be no casualties. Would allow drugs to pour into this country to kill Americans and not even try to put a stop to it. This is what you get when you get a “Big Guy” in office, I just hope we can make it back from this.
More liberal insanity………..
Climate change is the mantra under which the entire Marxist agenda is propelled! It tells us what we may drive, what we may wear, and what we may eat. It also “helps” us decide not to have children and thus plays right into the murder for hire (AKA abortion) crowd!
Tough talk from a man who Sh*ts pants all the time!
Excellent article.
The Global Warming lie has everything from Farting to sleeping as the cause.
Global Warming lie has been nothing but a SCAM from day one.
Let’s talk FACTS…
1) The Sun CONTROLS our weather.
2) Magnetic North is over 40 degrees from what it was in 1998, heading towards Paris.
3) The earth’s tilt just changed again as you can watch on SPACE.com.
4) The earth’s orbit has changed big time from earthquakes causing changes in weather patterns. Remember Japan’s earthquake that moved the island 80 feet and knocked our orbit at time by over 3 degrees changing our weather.
5) Volcanoes and their eruptions change our weather constantly.
6) Earth orbits in Outer Space constantly moving and NEVER stays the same. Not to mention Solar Flares effect our weather.
7) The weather on earth constantly changes and has from the beginning except for jets spraying toxic chemicals in the air heavily 2 days before we are to get rain causing no rain or very little rain. Just look up.
8) The earth has been through far more than what mankind has done in the puny amount of time mankind has existed.
9) NONE of the LIES about Global Warming is true and is pure political.
10) The earth is COOLING. Not getting hotter. Niagara Falls has FROZEN 3 times within an 8 year period in recorded history and that is in the past 10 years.
The earth’s temperatures have been cooling for quite some time if REAL scientists told the TRUTH.
Finally, it has NOT been as hot since the 1930’s with 1980 summer being the last.
That’s 43 years ago.
FAKE news won’t tell you the truth.
Do your homework and think for yourself instead of believing lifer politicians pushing this SCAM for their own political gain.
I have never heard of a gas stove that produced methane. They burn methane along with other combustable gases and the products of combustion are the issue as I read the EPA and FDA verbiage. They may also emit methane thru leaks or negligence as do all burner devices as in fugitive emissions.
I think the author missed the point.
As much as the power grids go down, it is a STUPID idea to ban anything gas..but that’s the way the liberals think anyway.
THIS GOVERNMENT IS TURNING OUR COUNTRY INTO COMMUNISM SO FAST and what are we doing but going along with their controls. Wake up or go down forever.
I can see the suggested aim to changeover EVENTUALLY fully functioning inspected gas stoves when upgrading to an alternative cooking device, but I can not see the reasoning of eliminate the removal of perfectly good working gas stoves. Most of those so-called hazards being listed only occur if the connections are not properly maintained and inspected, you don’t have the correct Carbon monoxide monitor installed right near the stove, there is no proper ventilation over the stove area, and lastly, if the stove is used as a form of heating for the apartment because of heat problems. I have used various models of gas stoves for countless decades with no problems and never had problems even with using an old model.
At present, if and when my gas stove goes out, it will be my landlord who will have to make the change over since the appliances came with the apartment and I don’t see many landlords rushing out to replace gas stoves that are still functioning properly.
I smell something! Oh , It’s not the stove – a democrat just walked by.
What else can they do to try to take over this country it is sick what is going on voters better wake up before it is to late, they cannot secure the border just lie after lie about that now this joke about gas stove’s I have one will never get a electric stove.We need this to stop before it is to late.
Groucho Marx was a devoted Democrat and via Wikipedia, I found this quote made by Marx: “…Democrats are the Garden of Eden of incompetence!”
Boy, aren’t Dems a bunch of “smfart smfellers?
Ah yes, The Swalwell Initiative.
Excuse me…sorry I farted!
Retired Gas worker here of 35 years working with natural gas. Sometimes on the fly. ( fly = working on live gas with no shut off until a shut off (valve) is installed. I love how these gas experts (politicians) tell us that natural gas is dangerous. Natural gas if burnt wrong will produce carbon. 5 to 15% natural gas is the right mixture for clean burning methane, and a perfect blue flame. Automobiles can run on clean burning natural gas. My opinion is all these greenies should shut their gas meters off in the winter. Disconnect your stoves if their gas. Shut your water heaters off too. YOU’RE ALL FULL OF FARTS, BUT THE HARD KIND!
Let’s mandate that all humans and cows be fitted with methane preventing filters.
Power to control… that is the goal. Power to control mankind via water, food, shelter and religion is safer for the perpetrators than physical force… awakened victims can fight back. Claims by elitists of this or that activity we engage in as being detrimental to others, is another way to gain control, but without a fist to the nose. We are not the problem, those who seek to control us for their benefit are. Some noses need to be bloodied.
Who knows? They might start banning people.
Today, Jan. 20, 2023, marks exactly two years since Biden assumed office and Trump was kicked out of it. Even though I voted for Trump in 2020, I am now happy that Biden won. He is simply a better leader. And he will win again, if the Republicans are dumb enough to nominate Trump again. This time, I will for sure vote for Biden.
I believe Biden and I believe in Biden. Biden for the win!
That SOB Biden has now threatened the American public with the military, F15 fighters to be specific, if we try to put a stop to his Marxist takeover. Those who would destroy America have now officially declared war on Americans. Biden is the leader of the enemy troops (his supporters) and we must do to the enemy what soldiers do in a time of war. Lock and load people it’s time to go hot. Talking about gas stoves is ridiculous.
Title of this story, “Biden Banning Farts?”: He might start with banning his own “behind”!! When he heads off to foreign countries and is farting along while he is walking or squirming & farting with the heads of state behind him, that tells me he has no manners. He has no sense, common or otherwise.
Instead of trying to ban gas stoves and INDOCTRINATION which is Braindead idea. How about
ENDING ZERO ENERGY PRODUCTION for PAST 2 YEARS
GOING ON 3 YEARS.
How about QUIT Lying on Global Warming.
Recent Volcano Eruptions such as in Greenland put out MORE POLLUTANTS in first 5 minutes than the entire Industrial Revolution to this day and Hawaii volcano putting our Hundreds of Billion’s of TONS of POLLUTANTS that WILL alter the weather since it’s a NATURAL process and Mankind doesn’t hold a feather to it.
Don’t forget about the OVER 1,000
Volcanoes on the Ocean floor that are CONSTANTLY ACTIVE. Heating up the ocean causing Global Warming.
Amazing that Mankind has NOTHING to do with this Lie. It’s pure political for power, control, and to STEAL YOUR MONEY and RIGHTS.
Does that idea include banning gas stoves in the White House also?
What’s next? Automobiles?
I’m all for having gas stoves in the White House- unlit, of course!