AMAC Exclusive By: Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan
President Biden,
Ok, boomer, listen up. I’m (not) sorry to offend your white fragility but you’ve got to reverse course on the big infrastructure bill you’re trying to pass this week.
Why listen to me? I’m obviously offended by that question. But I forgive your toxic masculinity—for now.
I’m Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan, a twenty-four-year-old with a degree in Peace & Conflict Studies from Swarthmore. As if that weren’t enough, I also have two unpaid internships (Planned Parenthood and Slate) under my belt and a job interview in Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s office next week.
Now that I’ve established my credibility, I’ll agree with you on one thing. Everything is infrastructure. From entitlement expansions to national paid leave and childcare tax credits, why can’t Republicans see that “infrastructure” doesn’t mean just roads, bridges, and airports? Why can’t they see that ‘infrastructure,’ like all words, has no real meaning, and it’s really just whatever we feel like it means.
It’s obviously because they’re all racist. And that brings me to my big concern.
Yes, everything is infrastructure. But you’ve forgotten that everything in America is also racist. As I suggested in my cover letter for my application to Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez, there’s an easy way to remember this: Everything is infrastructure is racist.
And if you, President Biden, don’t discard your Eurocentric attitude and listen to calls for equity across the gender spectrum, America will only solidify its place as the most racist country at the most racist time in history.
You might say that more “traditional” infrastructure isn’t really racist. But if you check your privilege and examine this issue through a Critical Race Theory lens, taking into account a diversity of perspectives, you’ll see that it’s just intersectional common sense!
Roads? They’re obviously racist. First, the most popular car color is white, which sends a terrible message that white is somehow the “best” or most “desirable” color in our society—a profound psychological damage inflicted on lots of people every time they get on the highway. Second, people use roads to get to work, which is incredibly racist.
And, third, have you ever noticed the color of most of the roads you drive on? That’s not just a microaggression. It’s infrastructural racism.
Don’t forget who oversaw the building of our interstate highway system—Dwight D. Eisenhower. The same old, white military leader who didn’t want his soldiers to read Nazis their Miranda rights and didn’t extradite them to federal courts (and not because courts are not also racist).
More spending on electric vehicle chargers? What are you, crazy? We have not yet achieved “equity” in gas powered cars, and now you want to open up a whole new kind of vehicular inequality? I am beginning to doubt if you are truly committed to the Marxist agenda of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.
High-speed internet? Why would we want white supremacists communicating with each other even more easily? That’s most of the internet. Not to mention the fact that the internet uses electricity, which negatively impacts the environment, and Climate Change is very real and very racist.
Railroads? Gee, I wonder why we shouldn’t spend more money on the primary tool of the European colonialists who appropriated the American West from our indigenous peoples? Building rail lines is highly offensive to native peoples, and frankly I’m a little offended you would even bring it up without providing a #TriggerWarning first.
You supposedly want to “invest” in water infrastructure to stop our youth from getting lead poisoning? Here’s a better plan: we should be importing bottled water, in sustainable soy-based containers, from a country that’s actually on the side of its people like Venezuela. Their socialist policies are working wonders for their citizens, and if you don’t believe me, you’re just buying into the right-wing propaganda.
Thank you in advance for agreeing there are no valid opinions other than mine.
I know that by the time I am a birthing person, forty to fifty years from now, I can look forward to teaching my children about how I used my privileged voice on behalf of our vulnerable communities to change the course of history.
Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail,
Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan
Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan is the personification of modern liberalism. Her pronouns are she/her/hers/them/theirs/we/us/ours.
Sounds like a very unhappy individual; angry with the world in general and at only 24 years of age.
Sorry representative of An American. She should give up on the USA and hit the road to another country. By the way take the lot of similar prejudices and people with her.ASAP
I’m sorry if anyone takes this diatribe seriously but, when you realize that it’s satire, it’s hilarious if in a sardonic sort of way. Sad thing is that some people (probably not the author) will actually agree with it..most likely those who voted (the real people that is, not the dead or mechanical) for Biden.
( D ) American communsit party – TAX – SPEND – LIE – CONTROL.
Our elders could tell us that is the way they always were and always WILL be ! ! !
This Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan with a degree in Peace & Conflict Studies from Swarthmore, is a piece of work. The key words here are Conflict and Swarthmore, a liberal arts college. Oh by the way Sagebrush, I’d like a coke with that burger. Maybe AOC will offer you a safe space away from that tedious burger job you studied so hard for at Swarthmore.
The sad thing is that many Americans will fail to see the humor in this satirical letter and will actually believe what is being promoted. I wonder whether we still have a future?
Love it!!????????????
Get rid ofg our racist bridgers. Paint half of all them black.
Had me going for a minute there….thinking AMAC has gone woke and broke! Great perspective letter so we can see just how the left “thinks” ( if thinking is part of the mix) and how out of touch they are
with this nation’s history, and the world. Glad I went all the way through this little drama…..
Thanks for the insight.
I find it hard to believe there is anyone who reads AMAC that lacks the intelligence to recognize pure satire! And yet, at least 3 people who have commented (50% of the commenters prior to my comment) apparently do.
That was so funny! Thanks for the laugh! This is the truly absurd that Rush used to always say the left was! Thanks again, this lifted my spirit!
Hilarious!! I hope everyone can see through the ridiculousness of such words. I think many are being taught to be ashamed of the greatest, freest nation on earth. As one founder said, “we must PRACTICE freedom” (emphasis mine). We will be taking to the ‘free’way to see the great vastness of my homeland, the United States of America, by car on Friday. It will be a good Friday.
Gee! A degree in “Peace & Conflict Studies?” What the heck is that? One could easily conclude that this “so-called” major is probably one rung on the ladder below a degree in “Sand Box Studies!” And probably about as useful (actually, useless) to the world.
Further, one could also easily conclude that you are truly uneducated since there is no logic or objectively determinable facts presented to support any of your positions as stated in the article.
Gee! Everything in America is racist! Only a warped mind would espouse such a stupid remark. That you actually believe your own pantheon of dysfunctional and factually incorrect (as in, totally false) so-called ideas suggest that you have a very serious problem with reality.
Dear Sagebrush, I don’t know what you have been smoking, but you better go back to your dealer and buy all that he has because you are apparently into some really good stuff!
P.S. If you ever are taken to court for a sanity hearing, the contents of this article (your miserable rantings and ravings) will be prima facie evidence of your highly dysfunctional mental state. You are truly out of touch with reality.
An almost believable letter that a true hard-core leftist might write with two glaring problems. One, the letter is far too correct grammatically. Young hard-core leftists write exactly how they speak. Fractured sentence structure. Incoherent stream of language and thought, bouncing from one half articulated idea to the next, with no definitive conclusion at any point. Just outrage at everything. Two, there is a complete lack of profanity inter-laced throughout the letter for emphasis of thought, when they reach a dead end mentally and then lurch into a string of profanities to hide that fact. Aside from that, this generally sums up the depth and breath of the young leftist mind.
So happy to see Amac heading indo Babalon Bee territory. Sadly, for all the “Sagebrushes, Rivers and Sunshines, et al out there, this is a very real situation. A direct product of schools being only concerned about “self esteem”, and not and intellectual challenges for year
After reading the comments, it is apparent many consider this pure satire. Yes, if read in that light, it is great satire.
However, and unfortunately, much of Sagebrush’s pratings echo ideas put forth by various extreme liberals infesting our country. Such disparate and dysfunctional ideas easily get collected and molded into a philosophy over time. Remember all the extreme positions being prated during the Democratic presidential debates leading up to the 2020 election? Well, there you go – we are now stuck with a lot of this dystopian nonsense in the Joe and the Ho Clown Show, coupled with the Demshevik Parade in Congress, and aided and abetted by State and Local libtard politicians across the nation.
Infrastructure is roads, bridges, tunnels, highways. In this age of fiber optics, internet, perhaps that too. Spending taxes on humans is social services, education is education, energy is energy. The left has always had a way of obfuscating the real issues by changing meanings of everything and manipulating language.
I wish Sagebrush were real, we could put Her, She, or It out of Her, She , or It’s misery!
Sadly, Sage is the rage right now!
Brilliant Sagebrush!