So what will the time capsule from 2023 say, when they open it in 2123?
“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about to open two time capsules – one an old piece of communications structure called a laptop, apparently owned by an ancient hunter-gather, as it says Hunter on it … the second a collection of things they used a hundred years ago. Well, here we go …”
“Why, oh my, goodness, well… maybe that is all we will see from that first anthropological find, as it looks like they were rather barbaric back then, and we all know after the Great-Great-Great War, any reference to Communist China, smoked drugs, and abuse of … well, let us move on. Not sure who that Hunter fellow was, but clearly he was hunting things in a rather primitive world …”
“Let’s get to the second capsule, shall we? What excitement I can see out there, in the crowd. Ok, like opening those time capsules from the earliest days, right? This is exciting!”
“Well, look at this, they apparently could not distinguish between men and women back then, grammar was a mess, had to affirm that lives matters. Odd, as we sure speak, think, and know who we are today.”
“And look at this, they still flirted with Marxism, talked about equity, class warfare, reparations for ancient injustices, even looks like some did not bother to carry their phasers. Looking at these old images, you do not see any jet packs either or levitating gas mowers, sky scooters. How funny …They thought windmills were the thing, like the 1600s. Sheesh, how unhappy they look in those masks.”
“Now, now … no laughter, they were just mixed up in their time. Look, here is a map … of America. Curious it does not have the Asia part on it, and is missing the dotted line for the southern border, but that was before the Great Regroup, return of the Happy Capitalists, before Mexicentucky and Canadabama became our 51st and 52nd States, goodness, how quaint!”
“Now look at this, they were worried about Artificial Intelligence, and of course that makes sense, since the Communists were still around, Russia not yet China’s Slavic North, and they had nuts in Washington trying to control the private sector … I will say, they had finished with leaches and bloodletting, but …”
“If you look at these pictures, these old digital and ferrotypes, almost tintypes, the sort that needed emulsion and silver … You see what they have here, and be careful, these fall apart easily … They seem to have windmills everywhere, and little cars covered in solar cells, little plug-in prongs, and my, they do all look rather upset, angry, don’t they? Well, those were the times, the Great Dark Era, as we know.”
“Yes, is that a question over there, about the photos? What is it? Well, no, we do not know really, because after the Great-Great-Great War, many sympathizers went quiet, but the idea seems to have been that they got very confused – about everything, grammar, biology, science, math, truth, freedom.”
“Why boys dressed up as girls, girls were pushed aside, everyone in politics got rich, wanted to be an American Indian, why they vilified noble police and military, and killed their babies before birth – the way China did, especially girls – we do not know. It was primitive, a time, filled with fear and ignorance.”
“What is that? The Archdiocese of Climatology? Yes, that was another mystery. Obviously, once we reforested, adopted carbon sequestration, balanced fossil and renewable fuels, and developed breeder reactors, it all seems rather silly, but back then, they thought, well, they thought the sky was falling.”
“The widescale promotion of anti-Caucasian prejudice? Yes, just another phase, like earlier ones, when people saw each other by skin type, economic, educational status, not realizing all core identifiers tie back to character, like that very compelling civil rights leader said, from the era just before theirs.”
“And what? Oh yes, those sticky things? Those were stamps, how they shuffled things about, quite inefficient, all before self-propelled drone-mail. The green paper? Well, we are not sure, but everything was green back then, kind of like a cult of green, but those were – do not laugh – paper money.”
“Ok, one more question, before we provide everyone with insta-versions, or have a version drone-dropped home, okay … you over in the corner, yes?”
“Very good point, historically insightful too – thank you! Yes, the point made by that young woman in the corner, is that this Hunter lap-pad may be part of the big scandal that rocked the 2020s, when these capsules were assembled.”
“It may be part of the whole Madoff-Epstein-Biden-Xi lawless period, when our Republic almost fell, but came out of it – with what we now call that Third Great Generation, the one after our Founders, after the WWII generation. Yes, good point, this could be a relic of that old Biden Crime Cabal, never know.”
“Well, thank you for coming. Hope the excitement was worth the time – not every day we get a glimpse of that old Dark Era. Now, enjoy your jet home, have fun, and remember updrafts near 16th and Penn!”
Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, attorney, and naval intelligence officer (USNR). He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (2018), and is National Spokesman for AMAC.
