Where do you find peace of mind? If there were ever a time for that question, it is now. Some will say distance from politics, or in prayer, sports, family, work, distractions, all true. But part of finding peace is not in pulling back, not departing the world, but managing it. Yes, but how?
Growing up, my life intersected with veterans, some in World War II, some in Korea, and others in Vietnam. They fell into two groups, those who wrestled with peace and those who found peace. How, I wondered, did some who saw the worst of humanity put it behind, while others struggled to?
These sorts of things are not often discussed or were not back then. Often, those who faced grief, pain, tragedy, or emersion in some ongoing tragedy, met those demons alone. Today, we seem to be learning and are more supportive, thank goodness – of neighbors’ suffering.
But there is more to this question than extreme cases, more than managing doubt, regret, or guilt – which is often misplaced – or escaping memories. We are a society burdened by high stress, awakened daily to social disarray.
We are a society that strains under the weight of attacks on peace of mind, assertions of things untrue as true, which tires us, forces us to question, and often to sleep uneasily, awake with concern.
So, where are the role models – there must be role models – who maintain their peace of mind, and remain outwardly and inwardly calm in the rough and tumble of all the babble? Where are examples who have a way of being we might learn from, who practice peace, and live with it?
Interestingly, while my nights are as sleepless and days as crazed as anyone else, my life was lightened years ago by people who lived with inner peace, buffeted but generally peaceful.
What delivers such confidence and relief? What’s the tonic? Several people come to mind, and while they had their moments, they also cast light, and their light is worth following.
The first is my mother, whom we recently lost, but who carried a kind of inner light with her, never questioning the strength of it or its source. She was a mother and teacher, so got great peace in the simple act of giving, teaching, listening, and loving her students.
She was also an artist, so found joy in something we often leave for later, our ability to create, whether buffing an old boat, building or refinishing furniture, taking out pen and paper, dabbling in watercolors, writing a poem, silk screening, cooking, gardening, or just doing a puzzle.
Creativity is a source of constructive absorption, a happy occupation, lowers blood pressure, restores a sense of being part of something good, generates an outcome, and you can enjoy the process – peacefully doing something, playing music, working with your hands, even planning.
Likewise, my mother found peace in nature, walking a beach, hiking a trail, cycling, exploring some new area, watching birds in a wetland, woodland, or aviary, and seeing how deer, squirrels, chipmunks, sandhill cranes, or manatees interacted, understanding their own worlds.
Peace of mind can also come, rather counterintuitively, in meeting people, especially those of like mind, whether in some professional or nature-loving way or because they – like you – are interested in being disinterested in what others are preoccupied with. My mother loved people.
Finally, while there is great peace in prayer, an ability to hand things off to God. She combined all of the above with a spiritual dimension, crystalized in a book, “Heavenly Music, Light, and Fragrance: One Man’s Journey to Heaven,” about caregiving with love, peace, humor, and faith.
A second big influence – let us say second and third – are people I worked with, and to the top of the list come two names you know, Colin Powell and Ronald Reagan, first close at hand, second more distant but at his White House. How did they keep their peace of mind?
Goodness knows they were tested. So, how did they do it? Three tricks. They lived with purpose, servicing others. That mission never left them. Second, they took nothing personally – an art that comes with practice. Third, they both kept their sense of humor. It works.
Finally, friends in the military – too numerous to name – were often experts at peace of mind, not least when everything went haywire. Someone had to be sane. They did it by training, and also resolve, knowing that peace of mind could be found, and like the lack of it, can be infectious.
So there you have it. Peace of mind is a state, of determination to find what makes life sane – by wanting sanity, purpose, and then practicing. It is looking up when others look down, giving when others take, not letting the current carry you, having gratitude for each dawn, and getting on – with having a good day. Sometimes it is just about focus, then good things start to happen.
Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, attorney, and naval intelligence officer (USNR). He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (2018), and is National Spokesman for AMAC. Robert Charles has also just released an uplifting new book, “Cherish America: Stories of Courage, Character, and Kindness” (Tower Publishing, 2024).
