Creating strong connections
It’s wonderful for different generations to connect. Older adults are excellent at sharing life experiences, knowledge of history, and words of wisdom. Younger people tend to know about the latest in pop culture and brand-new technology. Therefore, conversational exchanges between generations are enlightening, informational, and meaningful. However, when talking to aging seniors, particularly those age 80 plus, there are some actions younger people can take to fully connect in conversation.
- Sit down to talk. It may be difficult for some older senior citizens to multitask. Reduce distractions by sitting down for conversation. Demonstrate that you are interested in hearing them by offering your full attention. Make eye contact with them.
- Speak suitably. Should an older person experience hearing difficulties, speak slowly, clearly, and loud enough for them to hear you. However, strive to speak in a normal tone and avoid shouting at them. Additionally, do not speak to them as if they are babies. As always, address them respectfully as in Dr., Mr., Mrs., or Ms., as deemed appropriate.
- Be patient. Some elderly folks may face challenges finding words when speaking. Some may lose their train of thought easily or repeat stories from the past that they’ve already told. Regardless, don’t interrupt or be rude. Be a kind and attentive listener and perhaps you’ll learn something new that you missed the first time around.
- Begin discussions. Some seniors hold back because they assume you aren’t interested in what they have to say. Should this happen, ask questions to spark conversation. Choose enjoyable topics. Here are some examples: “What fun vacations did you take in your childhood?” or “Did you have a favorite pet growing up?” or “What sports did you play in high school?”
- Use “I” rather than “You.” Per Bluemoonseniorcounseling.com, this is a helpful technique for effective communication for people of all ages. “You” statements are bossy or accusatory, whereas “I” is a gentler approach. They provide this example: Do not say “You always forget to schedule your doctor’s appointments.” Rather say, “I’ll help you remember to schedule your appointments.”
- Don’t interrupt. When an elderly person is speaking, do your best to listen and not interrupt or overly correct them. Politely keep quiet until it is your natural turn to speak. Should an aging adult get a fact wrong, correct sparingly and gently when absolutely needed – or skip the correction to avoid embarrassing them in front of others. Go out of your way to avoid unproductive arguments.
- Share your happy stories. Whether big things are happening in your life, such as an upcoming wedding, or small things like discovering a new coffee shop in town, seniors tend to enjoy hearing about favorable things going on. Go ahead and share your joyful experiences with them. Perhaps it may spark some happy memories of their own to recall or share.
- Accept advice kindly. Having lived so many years, seniors have a wealth of experience. Additionally, they likely don’t wish to watch others make the same mistakes they made. So, accept advice kindly and know that it comes from a good place. It doesn’t mean you have to act upon it – but take it as valuable food for thought.
The value of conversation with the elderly
Conversation is a glorious way to learn about someone’s past and present. It is also a terrific way to learn new things, reminisce, and bond across generations. Sometimes, connecting with the elderly is challenging due to age-related health declines. This may include cognitive issues, physical pain, hearing or vision deficits, or other factors. Listening well and sharing happy thoughts are secrets to successful dialogues. Making the effort to be present, to listen, to speak from your heart, and to inspire and share. Remember that being receptive to advice from someone older and wiser can lead to positive, life-changing events.
Disclaimer: This article is for general informational purposes only and is not medically reviewed or intended to substitute for medical advice.