The swell came over the boat’s stern without warning – like a dam bursting. Lobstermen are calm, and he was. Three-quartering into another swell midwinter, ten miles off Maine’s coast, he turned, faced me. My eyes caught his. Now what?
Hard working Americans – especially those who use their hands, work in the woods, or on the ocean – are calm by nature. They have to be. Calm is a weapon, or a defense, and how all Americans used to be, were proud to be, a national trait.
Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and leader in the 2nd Century – although likely not a lobsterman – wrote: “The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” There is wisdom in this, a kind of lost truth, dearly needing re-discovery.
Henry V, when outnumbered five-to-one at Agincourt, appealed to his men, saying “If our minds are in the trim,” we will prevail. They got their minds there, and did.
Former Navy SEAL Mark Devine explained the trait in combat – with an enemy, with nature, or even with yourself – like this. “Resilience is not an inherited trait. It is a disciplined practice – a way of showing up that is cultivated over time through deliberate training of the body, mind, and spirit.” That is, let us say, point one.
Point two: “In high-stress environments, whether on the battlefield …or in the turmoil of daily life, the ability to remain steady amid volatility is what separates reactive living from intentional leadership.” It may also separate life from death.
Point three: “What many discover, often through hardship, is that resilience is less about bracing against impact … more about widening the internal space between stimulus and response. That space allows for clarity, intentionality, and courage.”
On that lobster boat that long ago day, “clarity, intentionality, and courage” were much needed. But before I tell you what happened, think about where we are now.
Today, everywhere you turn – whether discussing family, school, politics, weather, nature’s next move, law enforcement, parental rights, freedom of speech, religion, gun ownership, due process, equal protection, civil rights, or limiting government – emotionalism is the instant, thoughtless default, not reason, rationality, and calm.
Slippage – a radical slippage – from valuing calm over emotionalism, putting self-discipline over indulgence, rewarding truth and responsibility over false and self-serving narratives, accusations and excuses – is accelerating, and it is dangerous.
Simply put, in life – as in combat and at sea – high value must attach again, as in the past, to calm under stress, reason over emotion, respect for law, honor, and self-respect over agitators, rabble rousers, excuse makers, and untethered emotion.
What books will not tell you – but is worth knowing, what you only learn where life and death meet, decisions matter, and emotionalism kills, is that if you can gather your fraying emotions, lash them tight with intention, you not only help society, but you help yourself. If you practice calm, it will one day save your life.
So, a howling winter wind our ears, stern breached by a swell, out on the open ocean with no recourse but calm, the Captain’s eyes locked mine, and he calmly said, as he held firm to the wheel, “Go pull the drain plug, center bottom, stern.” I did what I was told, his calm infusing me with calm, and soon the boat drained.
When social media, opinionated neighbors, angry strangers, those who fill their idle time protesting, belligerently tearing down order, and promoting chaos try to drag you out, remember the drain plug, and choose calm over emotionalism. You will be glad you did, even if you never find yourself lobstering midwinter.
Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, Maine attorney, ten-year naval intelligence officer (USNR), and 25-year businessman. He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (North Country Press, 2018), and “Cherish America: Stories of Courage, Character, and Kindness” (Tower Publishing, 2024). He is National Spokesman for AMAC. Today, he is running to be Maine’s next Governor. BobbyforMaine.com
