It might have been Jesus in the stable, or Newton, or Faraday, Copernicus, Galileo, maybe Washington or Jefferson, Gandhi or King, perhaps Lincoln, Reagan, Edith Wharton, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Albert Einstein, even if only one can turn water into wine. We know not whom … we meet in the birthing room.
Ugh, the burdens of life, living, learning, loving, and giving it, once it comes, the sound of a new heart, course set, die cast, a blessing given, lights on, the process starts.
Of birth, mirth, and strife, what do we know? No more than the taste of manna, maybe. Is it a burden, hardship, kind of drift or answered prayer, honor, or holy gift?
What is this, what did you say? You have just eaten a pint of frozen yogurt, are still hungry, feel unwell yet happy, decisive but fickle, not uncomfortable or unnerved but you would like … a pickle served? Why of course, be right back.
Now what? Feeling good, could walk a mile, no need to change your clothes or style? All is well, even as we wonder how you feel, and wider wonder – what it means to sing your song, hold that high note, bring a soul along, two in one boat.
Say what? You cannot brush your teeth now, makes you queasy, and what you loved you now despise yet could go for some liver, anchovies, beets, squash pies?
Let me get this right – or better yet, let me get it for you. Is it okay for you to lift, climb, and work? You say you want to, need no help, are fit and spry – yet you cry?
You blame that on this whole process, pheromones, hormones, stress, a wish, a worry, no way to hurry, and you are right, books all say so. What is new is really very old, the only certain bit is what we do not know. Now… you start to “show?”
Now new clothes are needed, and some adjustments. What are these thoughtless thoughtful questions people ask, unhelpful helpful advice, people being so nice? Everyone tells you to be happy, healthy, and cautious, but you are just nauseous.
Thank God for crackers and good distractions, those who have done it all before – some so many times their smile is filled with love and knowing, gently glowing.
Suddenly, everything smells very good, looks good, feels good, is good. You could not be sick if you tried, for now, the coming time is good, relief and responsibility, doing this thing and having it done, two pairs of eyes and feet and hands, not one.
Time grows near. In this nearness, as if God planned it from the start, you are stronger of mind and heart, a bigger person – no, not that way, but in other ways. You are the owner of a big decision, heady. With quiet faith, you are ready.
Ha, now what is this you say? For all his manly composure, he is now the wobbly one, lost and found, packed and scattered, fretful just to do his little part, as you do the bigger chore …. He cannot seem to get himself out the door.
Then comes the day, certain as that very first test, clear as the ultrasounds and little heart, what the mission was all about, predicted by physicians: Little life wants out.
So, you are here, weathered the journey, not so different from expected, not impossible just new, no need for fear inherent, and yet you will soon be a parent.
As if God suddenly stopped the whole world just for you – and in a way He did, He knows what you have lived through, and come to do – He focuses all his love on you.
An inconceivable thing is about to happen, so hard to put into words it escapes even considered effort of one who watched, marveled, loved becoming a parent, trading all the fetch, carry, and pickles for wonder, little wiggles, little tickles.
A drum roll, stage fright, ready for a little boy or girl – after that epidural! You are here, and now the miracle comes, your own sweet baby’s cry, a real sound, life you protected, little voice in your own arms, little life, delivered with love from above.
This, my friend, is why we try – to share the joy, honor, and wonder of it all, becoming a parent, a chance divine, to see water turned to wine. God’s goodness is unbounded if we trust, and when we are our best selves, we know … we must.
Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, attorney, and naval intelligence officer (USNR). He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (2018), and is National Spokesman for AMAC.
Mr. Charles, I had already applied the minimal makeup required to leave the house to run errands and to mingle with others, when I paused to read your article. As tears streamed down my face and I wiped my eyes so that I could continue reading, I smeared the little makeup I had applied and must now start the application all over. Memories flooded my mind of the two precious daughters I had given birth to and the joy and peace that God had gifted me. I am thankful that you were born to grace us with your God given gift to write and touch our hearts.
“This, my friend, is why we try – to share the joy, honor, and wonder of it all, becoming a parent, a chance divine, to see water turned to wine. God’s goodness is unbounded if we trust, and when we are our best selves, we know … we must.” You are a Saint sir. As as The Right to Life supporters gather at the Capitol I only wish the typical liberal socialist’s will read this and stop the destruction of our innocent children. God Bless You.
Mr, Charles – I REALLY enjoy – and appreciate your thoughts and writings.This was somewhat different from your usual writing but, without looking, I suspected it was you. As usual, VERY WELL DONE, sir!!!
What a wonderful way to start my day! It brought back memories of my two most wonderful journeys throughout my life – one with my son and the other with my daughter. Those recollections and your article both made me laugh. From the smells I could no longer tolerate, any kind of fish, to the foods I’ve never eaten since – fried dill pickles and cheeseburgers to visions of me trying to walk to work in my high heels when I was eight months into my pregnancy, what a journey! Divine gifts from God! As the poet, Carl Sandburg once said, “A baby is God’s opinion that life should go on.” And, such an important message especially in our current world. But, in saying all of these wonderful things regarding the gifts of having a child and being a mother, let’s not forget that there are some women that truly struggle. As a passionate educator, I have met many of these mothers, and we must pray and be empathetic towards them. Many of these women struggle the majority of their lives with fulfilling the role of being a good and loving mother. They shouldn’t be punished, but instead more of us should reach out to them to help make their journeys a little easier. Sometimes they just need a good role model and friend.
And, to all the new mothers-to-be, just remember this lovely thought that Eleanor Roosevelt once shared: “I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.” Never slow down your child’s sense of curiosity and wonder. They are two of the greatest gifts you can give your child.
A woman must be able to choose what to do with her body & that is with the guiding hands of the Lord. No others should pass laws that tell a woman what they can & cannot do with their own body.
Beautiful! Thank you!