Opinion

Top 5 Christmas Gifts for Liberals

Well, folks, it’s that time of year again. Trees are being trimmed, carols are being sung, children are excitedly awaiting Santa, and I’m avoiding the kitchen so as not to turn a delicious meal into something indigestible.

In the spirit of all things festive, I bring you my “Top 5 Christmas Gifts for Liberals”:

5. A one-year scholarship to Hillsdale College. Because contorting the Commerce Clause and Establishment Clause like Gumby—and repeating “living and breathing” like well-oiled robots—have to stop at some point, no?

4. A copy of Politically Correct Holiday Stories to right the racist, misogynistic, insensitive, sexist, ageist, gender-stereotyping wrongs of your bedtime story-filled childhood. Guaranteed to coddle any injured, hypersensitive soul, big or small.

3. Mark Levin’s Ameritopia. Because let’s face it, lefties—isn’t it time you learn something? Audio of The Great One inviting you to “Get off the phone, you big dope” included FREE!

2. A switch that flicks on enough Christmas lights to illuminate New York City. Because much like a functional toilet bowl and a waterboarded terrorist, they make me giddy.

And, of course…

1. YOUR hard-earned Christmas bonus. Because truth be told, there’s nothing like a little wealth redistribution to satisfy a lefty holiday heart.

Stocking stuffers include non-recyclable plastic bags, radios whose dials are stuck on “The Sean Hannity Show,” a potpourri medley for Occupy Wall Street enthusiasts, Tim Tebow jerseys, and talking Sarah Palin “You Betcha” key chains.

 Candy canes of all sizes, shapes, and colors are to be included in equal proportion.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Looking forward to a fabulous 2012.

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Rich

Wow, that was mildly amusing, I am guessing she had to meet a dealine and just threw together anything at the last minute. Probably got paid a decent amount for it as well, and was pretty happy with herself for it. Oh well, break almost done, time to go back to do something commentators no little about, work.

Daniel L. Glenn

I have a question, seeing as the two front runners appear to be Newt and Romney, unless something drastic changes. So, I question “why” hasn’t any of the candidates brought up Dubya? He left Office and the Country with a “AAA” Credit Rating, didn’t need a tele-prompter with him everywhere he went. H e visited the Troops and served their Christmas meal, Thanks Giving meal, He went tot visit the wounded and the badly wounded, and for all he did and tried to do for this Country. The News Media did their best to keep all his actions in the News and put a spin on his every move. But, when Odumma took Office he started spending money hand-over-fist, borrowed money from China, to the tune of MILIONS of dollars. We have borrowed so much money from them they could come here to our Country and demand a repayment. Or… Read more »

william

A happy new year to all of you in what still remains humanity’s best hope(the good old USA).The progressives are counting on the ignorance and apathy of the public to get old jug ears reelected.The republicans are so busy cutting each other to ribbons that they are alienating the moderate center independants.Neither party can win with just the vote of it’s members.The party that gets the independant vote will be in the white house after 2012.All of the republican candidates have flaws as well as vitues so let’s stop this political bloodletting and remember Ronald Reagen(thou shalt not speak ill of other republicans).Tell us what you want to do to get our budget crisis resolved,our health issues corrected, and where you can lead us in the next four years.If you the candidates can not do that then we the people are no better off with one of you as president… Read more »

BAMOUILAMBOB

As we all know, the motto of the demoncrat party is simple but effective! “VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN!!”

With that in mind we all must get behind the states which have passed new laws for voter identification with a picture. It is true that will not completely stop the demoncrats from illegally voting but it will slow them down. This election of 2012 may be the last time we even have a chance to vote if hussein has his way. He is nothing more, or less, than an islamofascist nut who just happened to be elected President of the USA. All one needs do is look at the decisions he has made since his “coronation”. The reality is obvious.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL… Bob

Ron

In 1978 I wrote a “letter to the editor of the Atlanta Journal Constitution” that stated, “redistribution of the wealth isn’t working, get rid of the elected polititians, federal, state and local”. What goes around comes back around. Here’s hoping 2012 brings back some sanity, maybe!

shirley

I think Gingrich has too much baggage and he was a mess as a speaker. but, we have to get behind the one who can make it.None of them are perfect by any means, but, I think that Romney has the best shot. If the Republicans spread their vote too thin on all candidates and the wrong one faces the incompetent in the White House, we will have four more years of incompetence.

Larry

I just can’t get past Newt’s unfaithfullness to his terminally ill wife. If he can’t keep that vow, what promise can he keep? A great article. One of my hobbies is baiting liberals, then getting them to show their intollerance. Then after I calm em down and have an intelligent conversation with them, they go away knowing that all conseervative are not named Bubba no matter what the left leaning media tells them. ( not that there is anything wrong with being a Bubba)
I encourage you all to develop liberal firends and make an impact on them.

Paul

A conservative living in NYC? I am praying for you. Merry Christmas!

Mean Gene the Marine

Peace on Earth, good will towards men.
For those who served and never made it home –
RIP brothers.

Life has a taste that the protected will never know.
– U.S. Marines, DMZ, RVN 68′

Semper Fi
Thank you.

Rick Corliss

I don’t care what yer name is Jedidiah. Are you single?

jack mancusi

it’s time for this anti- u.s. so called leader to hit the bricks. have you ever seen anybody so arrogant in your life???

Bert Kneeland

I just covered over my “OBUMMER” bumper sticker with “MORE HORN, LESS FINGER”!
LET’S ALL BE MORE CIVIL!! I can’t wait to put on the new one on November 7th, 2012:
“INAUGURATION DAY 2013
THE END of an ERROR”

Connie

I just want to say Merry Christmas to all. It is my right!

skip

This list could go on and on. Why not add a free subscription to John Mauldin’s blog and The Daily Bell.
Like Jim, I would have thought you were a guy until I spotted the gorgeous photo.
Merry Christmas to all

Tom O'Rourke

I would have placed a 32 oz bottle of lysol at the top of the list but I am still remembering the stench from Zuccotti Park!

Joyce Mallul

To Kevin Kintzi who wants Sarah Palin to run as an Independant. I like Sarah also, but if she does that, then she will be giving Obummer the white house for another 4 years. She will take much needed votes away from the Republican, so he/she won’t win and then neither will Sarah.

Just remember that whoever runs for the Republican canditate will be better than having Obummer in for another 4 years, so get out there and vote for them. Anyone will be better than Obummer as he is killing America as we know it.

Jim

One Christmas, I passed out pocket sized copies of the Constitution with the advice, “Next time you tell me it’s all legal and I reply it isn’t, you’ll be able to look it up yourself.”

jim

Jedediah is a guy name. you don’t look like a guy.

H J Lamb

A one-way ticket to the communist state of North Korea where they can live out their lives in the way they want to change the USA.

Rocky Venti

I think the number 1 thing should be a Bible so the lefties can get a grip on what real America is all about!!