Why is there so much self-promotion in our society, self-inflating behavior at the expense of others? Data suggests “narcissism,” the outsized need for admiration, blind conceit, and lack of empathy is rising. Why? With what effect on society?
These questions – why and with what effect on society– are important for understanding the world in which we live and assessing the drift of society.
Unpacking the complicated drift of society toward unrepentant, unapologetic, often unaware self-aggrandizement is tough, but several facts pop off the page.
First, social media – self-tailored, instant, one-to-many communications – have grabbed society faster than any innovation in recent memory. They are reinforced by reliance on computer networking, hand-held communications, and a shift away from basic, tactile, physical, and non-digital interaction.
Thus, a look at social media trends from 2004 to 2018 is stunning. Use of Twitter, first on the scene, went from zero to 250 million daily. Next was YouTube, appearing in 2005 which rockets to just under two billion users. Facebook, which appeared in 2008, has over 2.5 billion users.
In the meantime, What’s App, We Chat, and Instagram have a billion users, while Tumblr, Tik-Tok, Reddit, Pinterest, Snapchat, and Myspace continue to grow, hovering from tens of millions to 600 million.
Unknown to many, others like Rumble, Parlor, Truth Social, Telegram, Gab, Gettr, and BitChute are not far behind and are gaining social recognition.
So, in short order, America has gone from landlines and flimsy flip phones to instant, uncorroborated news and the boldest, most unhumble, objectively narcissistic self-promotion in human history.
Can that possibly be good? Social media, in a word, has “democratized” the newsroom, living room, and bedroom, but at the expense of traditional limits, privacy, respect, self-respect, and self-awareness.
In effect, the Tower of Babel, reaching vainly for the sky, is here. Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for such things, and Babylon was threatened with a similar fate. Are we the modern Babylon, all for nothing?
Nutshell: Social media has accelerated these trends – self-absorption, putting others second, ourselves always first, before others; this divides souls from each other and divides them from within if you think about it.
Second, we have a news media – public and private – that prioritizes glitz, personal attention, and entertainment over truth, accuracy, and modesty.
What does this do? Not surprisingly, the personality-centric media – where we go for news – reinforces our worse instincts, gets us edgy, and keeps us uneasy with flash, bang, and startle rather than basic facts.
That, in turn, leads us to think social media and startle-me-news are normal. We are encouraged to think the latest personal tragedy, scandals, photos, cultural deception, destruction, or trauma, all matter, is normal.
Is all the chaotic self-promotion and one-up-man-ship, senseless sizzle, cake-and-monkeys – narcissistic behavior – good for any of us or society? Of course not.
Third, recent studies show this reflexive, almost pathological self-aggrandizement – over time – produces a narcissistic society, reinforcing personal insecurities, driving us farther apart, not together.
Without getting too deep, textbook narcissists compare themselves to others, never feel secure enough to stop, and always aim to edge others out – unsuccessfully. The shadow chasing them is not others’ but their own. This fuels more personal doubt.
What we are living through then is a social thermal, a kind of circling, chaotic current of public sentiment that reinforces what is least helpful, dividing us, creating envy, distraction, and friction – causing us to deemphasize what matters most, namely caring for each other and putting ourselves in the shoes of others.
The trend toward self-orientation reduces what holds a republic – or any group – together, respect and mutual support, encouragement by action, not words, recognition of individual strengths, willingness to take risks for others, working to understand others even when not understand ourselves, helping to fulfill dreams.
Bottom line: The modern trend is a dead end. No amount of self-focus, preoccupation with self-adulation, admiration, or glorification – in a word, narcissism – can offer the lasting fulfillment and contentment coming from other-regarding thoughts and behaviors, putting others first.
Sometimes, the most complicated things can be reduced to one line. Here is one. Alexander de Tocqueville, in 1835, wrote: “America is great because America is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.” The same is true … of individuals.
Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, attorney, and naval intelligence officer (USNR). He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (2018), and is National Spokesman for AMAC.
