AMAC Exclusive By: Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan
President Biden,
Ok, boomer, listen up. I’m (not) sorry to offend your white fragility but you’ve got to reverse course on the big infrastructure bill you’re trying to pass this week.
Why listen to me? I’m obviously offended by that question. But I forgive your toxic masculinity—for now.
I’m Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan, a twenty-four-year-old with a degree in Peace & Conflict Studies from Swarthmore. As if that weren’t enough, I also have two unpaid internships (Planned Parenthood and Slate) under my belt and a job interview in Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s office next week.
Now that I’ve established my credibility, I’ll agree with you on one thing. Everything is infrastructure. From entitlement expansions to national paid leave and childcare tax credits, why can’t Republicans see that “infrastructure” doesn’t mean just roads, bridges, and airports? Why can’t they see that ‘infrastructure,’ like all words, has no real meaning, and it’s really just whatever we feel like it means.
It’s obviously because they’re all racist. And that brings me to my big concern.
Yes, everything is infrastructure. But you’ve forgotten that everything in America is also racist. As I suggested in my cover letter for my application to Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez, there’s an easy way to remember this: Everything is infrastructure is racist.
And if you, President Biden, don’t discard your Eurocentric attitude and listen to calls for equity across the gender spectrum, America will only solidify its place as the most racist country at the most racist time in history.
You might say that more “traditional” infrastructure isn’t really racist. But if you check your privilege and examine this issue through a Critical Race Theory lens, taking into account a diversity of perspectives, you’ll see that it’s just intersectional common sense!
Roads? They’re obviously racist. First, the most popular car color is white, which sends a terrible message that white is somehow the “best” or most “desirable” color in our society—a profound psychological damage inflicted on lots of people every time they get on the highway. Second, people use roads to get to work, which is incredibly racist.
And, third, have you ever noticed the color of most of the roads you drive on? That’s not just a microaggression. It’s infrastructural racism.
Don’t forget who oversaw the building of our interstate highway system—Dwight D. Eisenhower. The same old, white military leader who didn’t want his soldiers to read Nazis their Miranda rights and didn’t extradite them to federal courts (and not because courts are not also racist).
More spending on electric vehicle chargers? What are you, crazy? We have not yet achieved “equity” in gas powered cars, and now you want to open up a whole new kind of vehicular inequality? I am beginning to doubt if you are truly committed to the Marxist agenda of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.
High-speed internet? Why would we want white supremacists communicating with each other even more easily? That’s most of the internet. Not to mention the fact that the internet uses electricity, which negatively impacts the environment, and Climate Change is very real and very racist.
Railroads? Gee, I wonder why we shouldn’t spend more money on the primary tool of the European colonialists who appropriated the American West from our indigenous peoples? Building rail lines is highly offensive to native peoples, and frankly I’m a little offended you would even bring it up without providing a #TriggerWarning first.
You supposedly want to “invest” in water infrastructure to stop our youth from getting lead poisoning? Here’s a better plan: we should be importing bottled water, in sustainable soy-based containers, from a country that’s actually on the side of its people like Venezuela. Their socialist policies are working wonders for their citizens, and if you don’t believe me, you’re just buying into the right-wing propaganda.
Thank you in advance for agreeing there are no valid opinions other than mine.
I know that by the time I am a birthing person, forty to fifty years from now, I can look forward to teaching my children about how I used my privileged voice on behalf of our vulnerable communities to change the course of history.
Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail,
Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan
Sagebrush Schneider-Callahan is the personification of modern liberalism. Her pronouns are she/her/hers/them/theirs/we/us/ours.