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D’ Artagnan Still for President

Posted on Thursday, September 19, 2024
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by AMAC, Robert B. Charles
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44 Comments
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My dog, D’ Artagnon – humble, freedom-loving rescue pup from Sochi Russia, proud of his guttural bark, ability to point, and one flop ear – is still running for president, and thinks this is his year.

I am not so sure, but have a hard time arguing some points. He can be persuasive. He says the country is obsessed with firsts, and he would be the first dog to win the White House, a rare honor, making way for others, even poodles.

He seems to think the bar has been lowered so that his best mottos, “A chicken in every dog dish,” “Down with word salad, up with the word meat,” and – his favorite – “It’s time for us to do what we have been doing, and that time is every day – actually twice a day,” could catch on.

I remind him that his biggest constituency, dogs, cannot vote, even if America is free. He reminds me I am probably behind the times and need to embrace the future. He says anyone can vote now.

He thinks – as he watches the political ads, news, and debates with me – that a good, well-groomed, long-haired, smiling dog has a chance. He says no one reads anymore, obviously. He says barking is all the rage, back in style, and when humans talk at each other, no one listens.

I remind him that I listen to him when he barks. He says that’s just the point. People listen to their dogs, not to each other. And he communicates consistently, never changes what he asks for always delivers, and is even patient. He taxes me a little, does odd jobs, watches the home border, and listens well.

Some days, he really starts to make sense, makes me think, which makes me think how little the modern world makes sense. If it’s a dog-eat-dog world or migrant-eat-dog world, the sort of place where everyone is unleashed, you have to watch where you step, and what you say, why not a freedom-loving dog for president?

Then, of course, I tell him this is all just crazy, dogs cannot run for office, it’s totally unconstitutional – like impeaching a president without due process, forgiving a trillion in educational loans, prosecuting a presidential candidate to throw an election, replacing a candidate who won all the primaries, or taking money from an adversary like China.

He just looks up at me with those big eyes and his flop ear and tilts his head to one side. He is either watching too many Reagan clips, or I think he might have a point, maybe the Constitution is being sidelined. 

He has the sort of leadership attributes we could use, I have begun to think – determination, decisiveness, innate honesty, loyalty, interest in keeping visitors accountable, a nice mix of courage, horse sense, and affection for the common man, namely me. He even tolerates the bird.

Come to think of it, while I am not going to put signs up for him, there is much about the average dog – and I am not calling D’ Artagnan average, but still – that appeals these days. He has his wits about him, knows when to open his mouth, and when not, bars his teeth rarely. He is true as the day is long, appreciates freedom, and has no fear. Maybe he is right … This could be his year.

Robert Charles is a former Assistant Secretary of State under Colin Powell, former Reagan and Bush 41 White House staffer, attorney, and naval intelligence officer (USNR). He wrote “Narcotics and Terrorism” (2003), “Eagles and Evergreens” (2018), and is National Spokesman for AMAC.

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Barbara Wellington
Barbara Wellington
26 days ago

My dog, Ashes, a rescued Shih Tzu, could be D’Artagnan’s running mate! She’s worried that she will run out of dog food given the high prices, and possibly being eaten by Haitian illegals. Thanks for the refreshing article. Make America Canine Again (MACA)!

puppylover
puppylover
26 days ago

What a great article. In today’s strange world we need laughter and a lighter touch. Much laughter. Thank you for putting a smile on my face.

Joe
Joe
26 days ago

A funny article that makes very good sense!

Melinda
Melinda
26 days ago

Robert, you’re a hoot! And wise as an owl (who may be smarter than dogs). Thanks for your wisdom through D’Artagnan’s mouth.

Marie
Marie
26 days ago

Beautiful article and hopefully it’ll wake up those who are in denial, biased, uninformed or misinformed. The world is at the precipice of WW111 and we need God’s choice to lead us. God showed us who, the one he saved from harm……MAGA

Robert Zuccaro
Robert Zuccaro
26 days ago

Be careful of a radical, lefty cat out to save “demoCATcy” doesn’t set up a snipers pit at his favorite dog park! And cats are notorious sloped roof climbers!

Rob citizenship--
Rob citizenship--
26 days ago

The way D’Artagnan communicates with you — I understand that kind of communication .It is something that is special about thinking of animals as friends.The reading of facial expressions goes a long way in understanding . Had a dog friend between ages 4 to 19. ( 1954 – 1969 ) .At age four Mom and Dad asked me about what a good name for the dog would be — the dog was mostly brown with a few black spots , the shade of brown reminded me of the color of beans– so I said ” Bean, let’s call him Bean !” Mom and Dad got a laugh about that, but they agreed it made sense .So Bean it was. Respect for animals is very important , just as respect for people is . Learning how Bean would react to new , different situations, like travel to new places — the walks in forests, fields and along the beach on parts of the New Jersey coast — that was exploration for sure . The ocean sounds , the sea gull. squawk leant something imaginative to that beach exploring . So, it is encouraging that the understanding of animal communication is thought of these days for some good reasons you mentioned in the article Robert. Great ideas with some humor too , much appreciated.

Gretchen T Hau
Gretchen T Hau
26 days ago

So cute and a lot of truth. He would be a better candidate than Harris, no doubt.

susabella
susabella
26 days ago

LOVE the article.

uncleferd
uncleferd
26 days ago

D’ Artagnon looks like a dignified and handsome character, with his own genuine sense of who he is, what makes him care about others, and why he must care about humanity in general. He’s not voting “Democrat” in anyone’s wildest dream.

Tina Hand
Tina Hand
25 days ago

What an articulate article filled with so much common sense and humor. Thank you for the smile and laughter this afternoon:-)

Nancy Perrine
Nancy Perrine
26 days ago

Love your dog in the pic. He has my vote.

Linda
Linda
25 days ago

D’Artagnon has my vote!

Nancy Hildebrandt
Nancy Hildebrandt
26 days ago

Sh! Haven’t you heard of DDS? (Dog Derangement Syndrome) You’re going to get him assassinated.

Emily Watson
Emily Watson
26 days ago

He must be at least 5 years old to be 35 years old in people years.

Spitfire?
Spitfire?
23 days ago

Ha,ha,ha Robert, love that pup and he has my vote AND the votes of my two cats Charlie and William.(nothing to do with that lot over the pond) .They asked me to assure your pup!

Musaiga
Musaiga
24 days ago

My Border Collie Mix rescue dog, Shadow, passed away a bit over 2 weeks ago. Smartest dog I’ve ever had. I’m quite certain he’d have made a great VP for D’ Artagnan. Thanks for the laugh!

Cheryl
Cheryl
24 days ago

Wonderful sense of humor article and I would vote for D’ Artagnon any day over the current and hope to be last administration!!!

Steve
Steve
23 days ago

I can’t live in a world without dogs.

Orion Bennett
Orion Bennett
26 days ago

D’Artagnan as President? We can do worse, and will, if kamala is selected by the powers that be. Though … consider her promotion for a minute. With Willie Brown in Calif, she was his ho … as president she would be ‘madam’ president. Going from ho to madam, isn’t unheard of … but quite a promotion none the less.

susabella
susabella
26 days ago

LOVE the article. Thanks

Sal
Sal
18 days ago

Well ! I assimilate as a Dog so am I still eligible to vote?
I am certain more faithful, straight forward, less self destructive and honestly logical all toward most people much better then our current administration.
Sir D’Artagnan has my Vote.

Dianne Rueff
Dianne Rueff
25 days ago

This is TOPS!!! Great to share with our woke, or apathetic, or just brainwashed friends, although it isnt going to be appreciated by that last group, so don’t waste effort!!! Thank you!!

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