Math Teacher Arrested at JFK Airport

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Math teacher arrested at JFK airport is suspected of belonging to secret terror society –

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a “slide-rule” and a calculator

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” the Attorney General said. “Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.”

As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.'” When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.”

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

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Jersey Jack

I love Amac. Great satire, truthful politics, cool cartoons and discounts just as good as AARP.

Gordon Larson

Tell the skewed authorities that being a former gee-I’m-a-tree instructor, I can derive the root of the problem.

Peter Richardson

This sounds a lot like the math teacher I had back in 67, there was something about him even way back then that didn’t seem right. :-)


Nice piece of satire.

Mike Santino

what a bunch of assholes they are.

Virginia Heether

This has got to be a joke. This can’t be real. But then were talking about Our Government

sandran lane

I guess he’s not part of Common Core.