Enter your favorite caption for the picture in the comments below! Best caption wins a free one-year membership to AMAC! The winner will be notified by e-mail on Friday, April 13th, so be sure to include your contact information if you are not yet a member and GOOD LUCK!!
Life Insurance 
Roadside Assistance 
Auto Insurance 
I’m warning you….it’s going to get hot this summer!
‘NO, That dosen’t mean we won’t take your money’ !
I know I said I founded the internet, but that was an honest mistake!
now wait, global warmingis a joke but bush done it.
Why don’t we just change “Global Warming” to “Climate Change.”
Wait-a minute…I never said I never lied!
Don’t you dare say anything about my private jet!
See, I told you the world was flat and that’s why there’s global warming and you won’t believe me.
I said, “It’s global warming” !!!
If global warming was a joke, would I be sweating like this?
We humans cannot continue to exhale and expect the planet to survive!
“uh-uh…been there, done that!”
Dont tell me that An Inconvenient Truth is full of lies.
Now, don’t misquote me – I never said that trees would hug you back.
I know global warming is true. I had a dream that told me so.
No, I invented global warming AFTER I invented the internet.
I have always known what to do… ever since I was a little boy in Holland.
Global warming?? I wet my finger, stuck it up into the air, uhuhuh The wind has stopped!!!
“My, fellow dupes”….er, Americans…
No, no, no. I never said “Global Warming”, it’s “Climate Change” and all those chemtrails have absolutely nothing to do with it. hmmmm and it could all be Bush’s fault……..
If you believe in global warming, pull my finger!
Here’s an inconvenient truth, “I am a crook”!
Now I can stand up here and tell you that I have lied about global warming, but I can guarantee you that that I have only done it for my own personal gain.
Now I can stand up here and tell you that I have lied about global warming, but I can guarantee you that I have only done it for my own personal gain
I spy with my own eye…CFL lighting
Global Warming: Bend over you’ll only feel a little pressure!
21 December 2012 is going to be Doomsday due to global warming!
Now, hold on! This debate isn’t about me tipping the scales!
But, but, but Texas doesn’t have a hate crime law.
…and don’t forget I invented the internet too!
Think about it for a minute and don’t be so quick to vote for O’Bama again!!!!
Now wait just one minute! I invented “global warming”!!
I know one thing that contributes to global warming. My private jet!
Who said anything about truth?
I not only invented the internet but I invented Google also.
I said I’m only partially responsible for discovering the internet…not totally responsible!
I did not invent Global Warming.
TRUST ME !!!!!!!!
Everyone should run for public office, great perks, and a retirement package to die for!
“I know my lifestyle and actions don’t match what I preach but that’s just another inconvenient truth”
Ah, yes, but it doesn’t matter of what the facts are. It’s saving the planet from the non-believers that makes this so important.
I invented the internet to save paper, more carbon credits.
Don’t even think about counting that “hanging chad” as a vote for W!
no i have not forgotten and you’re just gonna have to take my word – my jockeys show pix of george bush
NO! IDID NOT PLAY LURCH ON THE ADDAMS FAMILY
Just be warned! 99 degrees today, August 29, is certainly a true sign of global warming.
Is it just me or is it getting cold in here?
Oh no, no, I invented the internet.
I SAID DO WHAT I SAY, NOT WHAT I DO!
Now, hold on just one minute. I’m allowed a larger carbon footprint than my neighbors … I received carbon credits for planting two trees in Africa.
I am not a secret service agent, nor have I ever been a secret service agent. 04-16-2012
This is the truth no matter how difficult to comprehend, and I know its the truth…..Michael Moore and Sean Pean have both confirmed it.
I was for global warming, before I was against it !
Make no mistake, global warming is junk science, believe it and be laughed at.
Make no mistake, global warming is junk science, believe it and be laughed at
Yes…this is exactly how many people who believe I invented the internet.
Watch my lips: If they move, I’m lying.
global warming is the answer to alternative fuel
Because . . . I SAID SO!!!
OH,NO. NO. NO!! That not what I said!
I HAVE THE LIBERALS AND DEMOCRATS WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGER.
You better believe I did invent the world wide web, Tipper is undermining me on that!
Oh no, the wind is changing!
Careful what you wish for, you just might get it……..
Yep. It feels warmer to me!
You all think that Obama is doing a great job shutting down drilling for oil, you should have voted me in and I would make sure you are all in tune with green energy and global warming and we would all have cars running on sun energy and bicycles would be the best transportation in the world.
Hot air goes up thereby contributing to global warming. Therefore, all politicians must immediately stop talking!
Now I told you so! Because of Global Warming there is now only ONE polar bear left on the planet!
Any moment now, this arrogant finger I’m waving around is going to wipe the Global Warming sweat from my brow!
Now look, real science is not what this is all about.
“Now wait a miniute! I didn’t say I was an Idiot!
One for the money
two for the show
Three to get ready, and
I now gots you by the
whatchamacallit!
Forget the Facts, listen to the Democrat talking points
You better watch out! You better not cry!
Now really. Of course I know what’s best for you.
What, hold elected officials to the same standards of those who elected us? Never! I am better than that!
I didn`t say do as I do!
You can only vote this one time, then no more elections, as we take over America.
YOU may not know global warming… but I know global warming!
I want you to understand this 1 point…………you need to decrease your Carbon Footprint………….so that I can increase mine! So just do as I say, not as I do. Okay? Good……fine…..let’s move foreward!
Yes, I really did invent the internet and I also beat the ‘W’ in that election!!!!!
“We’re No. 1″ is only one of many of my successful inventions!
Here’s my spin on that.
“I am not a phony!”
Now wait a minute!!!!!!!!!! If you don’t believe me just ask Barack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, no, NO it wasn’t me!
And this is the number of living brain cells that I have left after after global warming.
Obamacare is the one thing I did not invent!
Oh!! No,no I invented the internet and Globial Worming!!
THE MAN up there promised the world will be destroyed by fire. Support my personal get me richer “global warming” scheme!
Remember this, I did invent the internet…………………
“You don’t know where this finger has been!?”
Its unfair that Obama is trying to use the Buffet Rule to rip off all the money I ripped off the rest of you with my global warming scam!
Remember, I am for saving the earth and the people.
When I invented the internet, I made sure it would work with just one click.
What I said was the sun was man-made and it causes global warming…I think….
“Now children, Father knows best!”
I absolutely invented Global Warming.
I did not lie to you, I swear I did
Wanna see Global Warming ? Pull My Finger.
If you are stupid enough to believe me, that is your problem
Yeah but, I’m billionaire because of global warming – that makes all the falsehood and bad science okay!
I don’t think you realize that what you think you heard me say is not what I meant, but what I said is what you think I heard what you think I said… no wait… I mean…
I know all–listen up you sheeple and warm my pockets!
I don’t care what God said to Noah!!!!
“This little light of mine…could cause Global Warming!” “Put it out!”
Dozen’t he look like the southend of a north bound mule
What a Putz
Are you tell me “I’m a phony” I invented the internet.
Caption for the sphincter muscle. Let me be the first to say, “Just because I said it doesn’t make it so.”
“Pull my finger and I’ll show you global warming!”
Don’t you try to tell me that Obama is smarter than me.
I told you the sky is falling!!!!
My name is Gore, with a G not B, you idiot!
Ah say, Ah saay theah, It’s gettin warmer in heah….Turn up the AC sonny!!
Fat Al, with his finger pointed toiwards the ozone, (where he want’s to go
I lost because I ate Twinkies before my campaign speeches, that’s why.
It wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been for those dang Florida elections! What? Anything bad.
First it was the internet, then it was global warming, what an I going to deam up next?
I really, really need those carbon credits.
PLEASE HELP ME!
No, that’s not actually correct. I only make ONE million $$ when carbon credits get traded.
Ah, Ah, Ah… I didn’t say I created global warming, I said I created the internet!
i’ve only made just ONE mistake in all my life, and that was becoming a democrate.
When it comes to global warming, my finger never lies
I DARE YOU!! PULL MY FINGER
I know I’m right about global warming. That’s all the proof you need!
NO! I did invent the internet
I didn’t say I INVENTED global warming.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but, I have unlimited carbon credits, and you dont!!!!
Don’t even think you are going to sell me a condo in Florida!
I am OBESE because of Global Warming
From which direction is that global warming breeze coming.
I ain’t much baby, but I’m all I’ve got.
Well, not only that, but the sky is falling!
Are you going to believe what I tell you or the data that say’s I am lying.
“No, I will not let you pull my finger and contribute to Global Warming!”
How often I fly my jet does not contribute to Global Warming. But every one else needs to ride a bicycle.
Baby, it’s cold outside!
Obama and I are both from above, please believe me
Remember, you can always trust me, no matter what those people, who call me Slick, say.
My choice for the caption for Al Gore’s picture:
How dare he be the Narcissist in Chief. I INVENTED narcissism!
I tell you the truth, I know what I’m talking about!
I beg to differ…carbon dioxide is not the beneficial gas all plant life on earth would have you believe.
my SUV doesn’t leave a carbon footprint
“Welcome to Lock Box lesson 101.”
“Let me tell you… it’s getting warmer…
Hold on now, I don’t have to follow my own policies!
It’s Getting Hot in Here, So Give Up All Your Money
I, the smartest man in the world, know better than all of you put together.
Ok – here’s just one example of the devastation caused by global warming – hanging chads.
“Now wait a minute, I never said I was an honest politician!”
What do you mean ????? Of course I created the world
Let me tell you this, I always tell the truth.
What do you mean??? Of course I created the world!
Ok, it wasn’t the truth, but you have to admit, it was inconvenient!
Listen, this is not about global warming. It’s about making sure my private jet is ready.
Sorry, the finger I’m trying to use is Crazy-glued to my thumb.
The ONE important revision to the HealthCare Bill will be required prescription to BEAN-O to halt GREEN HOUSE GASES!
AH, ah, ah…………………….Geritol is NOT better than Global Warming. I tried it!!!!
I invented solor energy to save our planet and don’t you let anyone tell you differently!
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and everything but the truth!
What do you mean that I’m responsible for global hot air?
I will autograph my book for you for $20 bucks.
Let o Al help you people with minimal brain capacity to understand this. Global warming causes global freezing. And global freezing causes global warming. You see how that works!
And another thing,” Putting that internet project together successfully was not easy!”
It’s warm in here !
Al’s probably saying, Let me be totally honest with you, if I can.
Now, now, global warming is a reality! The proof: COLD WEATHER!
Now Listen-I told you I started the inter-net to stop Global Warming so I could start my own TV Channel off of your Carbon Credits that really go to no one but me!
And let me repeat myself,If we do not stop global warming we are all going to suffocate,remember I am getting filthy rich off this hoax.
but wait, that’s not all, you can purchase my carbon credits at a reduced price, i don’t use them.
First I increased awareness of global warming, next I am going to enlighten everyone about the problems of obesity.
I never said I invented the Internet.
I know it’s snowing which just goes to prove Global Warming.
Oh, no – that’s not what I meant!
I did not say that
I am #1, right!
“I stick this finger in the air, and I can accurately predict the where global warming will hit next.
“My temperature probe here proves that global earming exists”
“Now let me make this perfectly clear! It is not what I do that contributes to Global Warming. It’s the suckers I con into the lie, contribute to my fund.”
I have NEVER told you the truth! I NEVER will!!
No… I don’t think you can say that about Obama.
I just changed my grandaughters Pamper. My finger got ****on it. Shall I lick it or stick it??
I do not care what you say.! I, me, myself and I invented the internet. That alone is enough to qualify me to invent global warming. How else could you explain all these pesky earthquakes and stuff. And a guy has to make his living someway. What better way than snookering these less than smart idiots in voter land. Global warming has made me millions and billions of dollars. Wait and see what I can come up with next. Maybe a way to get obama elected again.
Trust Me !!! You can trust Me …..
Only you can stop global warming.
I do so only have one corporate jet I use to spread my global warming message.
Now wait a minute! My private jet does not add to the carbon footprint. Do as I say not as I do!
Now wait just a minute, please don’t try to confuse me with facts when I’ve already made up my mind!
I didn’t really say I invented the internet, I only meant I was part of the development team.
No, it was I who invented the internet…
I’m greener than ever since I gave up desert.
No matter what happens to Bill & Hillary, they will still be cousins.
If we can get Congress to do just this one more thing, then we can pocket another bundle!!!!
I’M GOING TO SNAP MY FINGERS AND MAKE YOU ALL DISAPPEAR!
Which way is the wind blowing at this moment?
I said … inconvenient SPOOF!
Hillary, I told you not to marry your cousin.
Pull my finger…Go ahead…and I’ll give you green house gas!
If I had become President
Oh no you didn’t, I created the “Internet”!
‘……and just WHERE do you think all this hot air for and a warmer summer has come from?
I did not fail Natural Science at Harvard – I got a D
Come on now people. Don’t laugh at me!
Come on now people, don’t laugh at me!
You are looking at the origin of global warming! The cavern of hot air!
I told you once before not to make fun of me.
Now come on…do as I say, not as I do!
Noooo…..That’s not my carbon footprint !!
Trust Me, I won’t make any money off CARBON CREDITS!
I am diligently working on a bovine annal filter to further protect our ozone layer from the incredibly harmful effects of cow farts, When it proves a success we will make a modified version for politicians, such as mysely, who are full of the same type of stuff.
Now look. Discussing my weight is off the table!
Hey! Wait one minute!!! That was not my fault! That was Bush’s fault!!!
Now remember, I invented the internet and discovered global warming.
Gore, Albert Gore. Besides Internet I inveted global worming…
I do not come across as stiff. I only lost by one vote.
Someone from the audience asked, ” What do call the fact that your party has bankrupted the U.S. Economy in just 3 years!?”
Gore: “An Inconvenient Truth.”
Global Warming’s little myth, adds to to my account lots of greens.
I Invented picking your nose!!!
Now don’t put words in my mouth! I didn’t say, “I invented the Internet”, what I said was, “I resented the thinner set!”
President Obama’s weekly AF#1 travels are not adding to our carbon footprint, fuel shortages and deficits. Trust me!
Global Warming? Wait til you see what I have coming next……………
Now I ve told you several times the mercury in my (cfl) new light bulbs isn’t dangerous! Rember to dispose of them properly (hazardous materials) .
I told you…only my hairdresser knows for sure!
Don’t Blame me, It was those so called Scientists. They told me to bring back the Horse and Buggy
because Autos create Global Warming. What do I know about Global Warming, I can’t even spell it.
Well what do you expect? I’m from TN.
Believe it or not……….
Do as I say and not as I do!
Al ‘Qaeda’
Now, wait a minute. This time it’s global warming, not global cooling. That was a few years ago.
I am sure glad that you are the dumbest people i have ever met , and i thank you for that !
Rember when I told you about globele warming well now we call it change
DUH? If I could think of one intelligent thing to say……..oh will forget it.
Yes, I do believe hot air is a renewable energy source, and I have done my share in that regard.
“It’s hot!” “Yea, up yours.”
What makes you think that freedom is free
Just remember you are not the brightest bulbs in the bunch !
“I told Keith Olbermann not to claim he invented the internet.”
“I discovered the finger”
“I invented the finger”
“thre’s only one thing that really matters…me.”
Now I remember, it wasn’t the internet I invented . It was gubpowder.
I am NOT one of the 1 Percent!
My hemroids are killing me, but
No, you just think you caught me in another lie!
Wait a minute! Who really won that election? Why did my “fix” not work?
You REALLY need to listen now!!!!!
“At least I am not Joe Biden…”
“Now remember, I invented the internet”
You see, I understand global warming because I invented the universe.
Can I share another lie with you?
Now you just wait til the wind changes.
I promise I’ll create Global Warming myself ’cause I’m full of Hot Air!
Hurry, pull my finger
Your not going to sue me again over global warming !
NO. the number one reason Weight Watchers is not working is Global Warming!!!
Are you listening. . . There is only one road to heaven!
No, my hot air does NOT add to global warming!
I only lied to the American people ONCE!
No to Lord Monckton: I will not debate global warming with anyone who has a brain.
I told you this would be a long hot Spring.
Remember, I almost made President!
I warned you once, I’ll warn you twice: Don’t you ever say it’ll get cold again!
Maybe I didn’t invent the internet, but global warming, that’s really mine!!!!
Step back non believers…
You better watch out! Global warming is coming!!!
I know I said we must go green but I want to keep my jet!
When the polar bears come to get you, don’t cry to me!
If you have one brain cell you will believe me.
Dom’t question me again on what is good for the country. I know what is best for you so be quiet, shut up, and sit down.
one more time I am not a crook! I may look like him but I am not Al Gore! For the last time I am Jimmie Carters brother…
Well,someone told me there was global warming.
And if I can just convince one other person of global warming, my life will be complete.
The Skies the limit$$$$$$$Global warming yes$$$$$$$$$
We are responsible for global warming, just like we caused the death of all the dinasoars!
If you believe that global warming is a hoax, well you may be right!
My Hummer has a very small Carbon Footprint-
BUT I use energy saving light bulbs!
Quit calling me a liar, or I’ll tell “daddy” oboma on you,Boy will you get it!!!!
“Waiting to exhale” – CO2 that is.
It’s all in the “CHAD COUNT”
I told you it was warming up & the record March temperatures prove it.
Maybe I said that but you’re wrong to think I meant it!
Just “trust me”
Trust me… I’m with the government
“I never said that I invented the Internet. I did, however, invent Global Warming.”
Listen, I was wrong about Global warming…….
Now, now.. I am feeling warmer this very minute!
Now, don’t you doubt me on this!
No, I said global warming, not heat wave.
Now that’s not nice!
At least, I am an American, and a Christian!
$19.95 “But Wait” It’s not perfect “But Wait”
Now remember Barack, I’m still available for that Veep job
Now, now, now. I didn’t promise that we wouldn’t have any more COLD weather.
Trust ME||
Mark my word, it’s going to get hot.
Is it warm in here, or is it me?
I did not say I invented global warming…………just the hot air.
Now, you just hold it ! I definately know better than you do.
Do as I say, not as I do.
I’m the only ONE who understands temperature change!
Why, if you say that global warming is a hoax and kill my $Billion business, I’ll … I’ll … I’ll …
I just want the American People to know I AM NOT A CROOK
AND I NEVER LIE.
Can’t you see, it is getting hotter
NO NO NO NO NO I WON the Election G#D D#M IT!!!! I WON IT !!!
Oops Wrong finger
OH YES MAM, Winter and Summer are great examples of Global change..
I did not photo shop my book on Global Warming, will maybe, just a little!
Now I didn’t say all polar bears are extinct!
If we work at it we could all shrink our carbon footprint… if we just breathed less often.
Now Mr. President, You must keep telling the world it is President Bush’s fault !
I’m warming you!
Now, just wait a minute. You know I’m right.
Uh, uh, uh, it’s do as I say—not as I do.
Obama should get a real V.P,
Tennesseeans didn’t vote for me either!
I think I may have one brain cell left!
Global warming hot air from Al.
I am the only one who leaves no carbon footprint,trust me !
……….now, wait a minute, that’s not exactly what I said.
Now, Now, my rules don’t pertain to me!
“Now, you must believe me when I say …”
Lots of amusing comments from this morning, but did you all not notice that the winner would be notified on 13 APRIL? Here’s a comment: “Missed it by one day!”
Trust me! I invented the Internet!
I told you that they would find out the truth about “Global Warming”!
Now just wait a minute. I remember one place where it didn’t snow when I went to speak on global warming.
Now, Obama followers, take your medicine!
I thought a great caption would be…. Now wait a minute, I didn’t exactly say that I invented the Internet……
BOHICA
One more hanging chad and I would have been president.
Pull my finger for global warming.
I told you so.
…and then the Warmies will come out of the woods and destroy us all — this is really serious.
How dare you expect me to turn off some lights on my PRIVATE property!
I swear I made NO money from this global warming scam!
I didn’t win the 2000 Election, but I should have. George Bush cheated.
Remember, I created the internet, and I can take it away!
Bend over, trust me it won’t hurt but a second!!
I warned you! if you hadn’t elected Bush, you wouldn’t have Obama for president NOW!
Hey! would I lie to you?
NO! The hot air coming from Washington did not cause Global Warming.
I TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK THAT QUESTION…..AND NO, I WON’T ANSWER IT !!
Just 1 degree more, and…
Don’t blame me for that, I was just the vice president !
You are wrong, Global Warming was not caused by the Internet that I invented
This is the exact number of true statements I’ve made on global warming…..
Receive is spelled rec”ei”ve.
REMEMBER y’all, I invented Global Warming!
Now! Now! Now! I’ll start crying if you don’t give it to me!
Now read my lips there is globe warming
Don’t do as I do, Do as I say!
Uh, I beg to differ, Global Warming is REAL, REAL, VERY REAL! AND, I’ve got an award to prove it!!!!
“Now wait! If I say it long enough and loud enough – you will believe it!”
Hold on now, I’m no moron…it just seems that way!
Now, I’m not saying the Al Gore version of the Macarena is for everyone.
You know I’m being truthful……after all, I DID invent the internet. I DID TOO!
You want more Global Warming??? Pull my finger!!!
I’m warning you !!! If you don’t fix the global warming problem, ALL OF YOUR HOMES WILL BE “UNDERWATER”–
and thatsssss da trooth !!!!
And if the Party says it’s two, how many fingers is it then?
“Now, wait ONE minute……..I never said I would vote for Obama in November 2012!”
I once wanted to be a Doctor. Can you guess what kind?
Ah-ha – Gotcha’. I now own the award and didn’t really invent anything and we don’t have control of “global warming”, it is just a world happening thing.
“This finger represents how many time I’ve been truthful in my adult life.”
“This finger represents how many times I’ve been truthful in my adult life”
Wait a minute, I don’t lie!
One more time – “Global warming is real. Dammit why won’t you believe me?”
Believe in global warming! I went outside, wet my finger with the garden hose and guess what…it was dry 1/4 of a second sooner than the same exact test last year!
“I not only invented the internet, I also invented global warming”!
Who said I was wrong? I am never wrong, & I would have been the perfect President. Ugh!!!
And you can take that to the bank!
Ah…Ah..Ahhhh, say the magic words.
I know the planet is warming because my finger is warm!!!!!
No… I am not a crook.
Ah, Ah, Ah! Don’t be putting words in my mouth. I never really said I invented the Internet. You just misheard me.
Someone—-PLEASE—Give this Schmuck a Laxitive
I told you I could make 100 million from the clean energy stocks, if I could get those fools to believe in Man Made Global Warming.
Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom!
“As a matter of fact, NO, my bowel movements have NOT been regular lately!”
Whoa! Do you actually believe that I am in this for the money?
My presidency? Close but no cigar!
If you don’t accept my spiel about global warming you’ll look like a roasted weenie five years from now!
:” Woah……….Just a century now !!!!!!!!
I am one stupid idiot
He said I was in control.
I NEED MY MANURE SPREADER REPAIRED ASAP !
“I know, I invented Green Energy!”
Now listen here!
Trust me, it will get warmer soon.
Now you know who invented the internet.
Look to the heavens, It will get warmer this summer, I command it.
It’s warming because I said so, don’t question me!!!
“And you can take that to the bank”
This is “hot air for money” in my pocket!
Wait just a minute—Tipper both loved and believed in me–for awhile. Then, I lost my home state, the Florida thing happened, internet access left in a Global Warning minute, and she just was not strong enough to continue forward with me for the good of the world.
The Supreme Court was wrong…. I should have been President
You just wet your finger and stick it up like this. If it dries it means global warming.
Okay, so I didn’t invent the Internet, but I did fire Keith Olbermann!
Uh, uh, uh! Now, now! I’m telling you, father knows best! Listen to me, now!
It’s not my fault. When I invented the internet, I never thougt conservatives would use it.
I am warning you, only listen to me on global warming.
Let me be very clear, it is going to get wicked hot.
I am telling you, AMAC is a right wing terrorist organization.
No sir! All the billions of computers on my world wide web have NOT caused global warming!
NO ……… I SAID THE TEMPERATURE WOULD ONLY DROP ONE DEGREE.
I need my SUV and private jets so I can get the word out about global warming!
Don’t you think it’s hot in here?
Haven’t I already warned you about refuting me with the facts?
“Let me remind you, and Let me make this PERFECTLY clear……You must do as I say and not as I do.”
No I didn’t invent the Internet, but trust me global warming is real!
I may be an expert on global warming but I am not a rocket scientist!
Remember, I am all about truth. Forget that I said that I invented the internet.
Now don’t try and tell me that this Global Warming is a line of hooey – I invented the internet you know.
Remember, more government is good for you!
Remember, I did not allow the “Bush” to be consumed on Mt.Sinai so there was not “Carbon Foot” print remember how astonished Moses was his face glowed!
I think he is saying,” Global warming is causing Obama to tell these outrageous lies to you people.”
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
I promise you it’s getting warmer
Wrong! My carbon footprint is only ONE million
and then I invented Gravity!
It’s cold now, but you just wait.
Pull my finger.
If over half of the population would stop exhaling carbon dioxide, I could save the world for the remaining population.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I told you weight gain was man-made!
NO….NO….NO
REMEMBER…….I am smarter than ALL of you!
the recession affects us all ,i only made one million dollars this week……………..
As i’ve told you before, I invented the internet!!!
“Now listen here my personal jet and my super limo are SOLAR POWERED.”
now wait just a minute, i never said that! what i said was “there is proof positive global warming may exist.”
well–well–well–ok maybe just one time
If you do not know the RIGHT ANSWER you not allowed to talk.
“Because of Global Warming, I now have only one brain cell left working.”
“Now, maybe global warming has been debunked but, I will still try to reap as much as I can from my lies.”
I INVENTED the internet. I’m not the “help desk”.
I only lied once about global warming!
ok very very good–like it
“I told you to hide that dress”
… and here’s another whopper I’m betting you’ll believe…
NOW LISTEN TO ME!
One carbon atom too many.
Listen to me Stupid, I know what is best.
Okay, Doc, but only if you use this finger !
Don’t forget, I invented the Internet !!
No, no, I didn’t exactly say I invented the internet, only perfected it.
I lost by only one vote????? I demand another re-count!!!!!!!
Now don’t forget, I invented the Internet!
For the last time, I’m warning you, you will burn to a crisp in the very near future …..
What I said was…Global warming will set you free….
If I told you once I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate.
But…but… the little chicken told me the sky was falling!!
Now listen, I was told
Now remember, I invented ‘Global Warming’, so I make the rules!
I’ve it one Nobel Peace Prize, One Oscar, one huge ego and one giant waste line! I’M NUMBER ONE! I’M NUMBER ONE!
No..No.No.. Don’t tell me it’s snowing again!!!
Now, now… I didn’t say global warming was incontestable. I said the naysayers are contemptible.
Bull****. Tipper never told me to blow my emissions out the other end.
No, I am bigger blowhard than Olbermann.
No no, first I created, the sun, the moon and the stars…….then came the internet.
Now I didn’t say all the polar bears would be dead by now!!!!!!
My theories are so looney I need to be in a “lockbox”.
If you had elected me, you wouldn’t be going through these crises now.
How am I going to get my usual message if no one pulls the finger. Er…I mean lever.
Its Georges fault!!!
That would be because we have superior knowledge!.
In superior knowledge…I am number one!
“I am Number One!”
My personal jet does not leave a carbon footprint however my rhetoric may put us over the limit.
“Before I answer that I need to see which way the political wind is blowing.”
I don’t care whether you believe in Global Warming or not. Just pay me upfront and we’ll see what happens in 1000 years, OK?
I told you all that talk in Congress would add to global warming!
I’m highly offended that you would think that I would cheat anyone using Global Warming!
“No-no-no-no, I never said I would live my lifestyle after global warming”
Pay me now for the internet or pay me later for carbon credits. I’ts your choice.
If you had only listened to me, we wouldn’t be having all these floods, tornadoes, and earthquakes!
I’m highly offended that you would think I would line my pockets by using the threat of Global Warming.
Now I swear, I invented the Internet!
What do you mean? I’m not selling snake oil!
Never let a good crisis go to waste!
Don’t force me to lie and take all your money!
Trust in me on this. You will fill my bank account with all your worthless money.
Now, I told you — only one sheet of toilet paper per day!
I am not a liar.
Now let me be perfectly clear: Bush made me do it.
Do as I say, not as I do!!
Do not hide my rubber gloves again!
I might be an A_ _ hole but I’m not stupid. I know everything about everything.
“I told you, kids, your parents don’t know everything I know.”
1) It really is man-bear-pig!
2) I don’t scare what the actual data says, this planet is doomed by 2050!!
3) Science?? Science?? We don’t need no stinking science!
4) Let’s not ruin my point by introducing facts!
5) Actually I only pay $12,000 per month on utilities in my TN mansion… is that a lot??
I’m going back for seconds so save some for me.
Pull my finger and Ill demonstrate climate change for you.
Caption:
Now wait 1 minute…
But, remember I invented the internet!
“I did not steal Polar Ice Pack scenes from the movie ‘Day After Tomorrow’ for my documentary, I simply borrowed them!”
But AL, the ice was styrofoam shot against a blue screen.
“I was fully aware of that! That’s why my Academy Award was for best ‘Docu-drama’.
Meaning a documentary that’s 100% BS?
“Er—-sort of, but it really looks great next to my Pullitzer Prize which I got for the same reason!”
Can’t argue with that!
Now, don’t bring up MY carbon footprint again. I just do not want to hear that.
Nooooo. I am not John Edwards.
Even when i’me wrong i’me right!!
I can show you all senior citizens a different finger, too.
I’ve told you before the movie “love story”was about my wife & myself and thats final
And this is how I find out which way the wind is browing……………….hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Al says: Yes, I am the only one. The only one that has the key to the locked box secrets of life!
If I told you once, I will tell you again, I will not misuse your Social Security money–I will not give it away.
See, when I blow the hot air out of my mouth here, I can feel it on my finger here.
Tell Buffett to stuff it
“O.K. would you believe Global Luke Warm?”
“Now I’m pretty sure going off and leaving your computer connected to the internet, which I invented by the way, is in it’s own way contributing to global warm….ahhh…climate change!”
For the last time. I really did invent the internet !!!
I told that smarty pants Keith Olbermann to stop using words with more than one syllable or we would lose our audience!
“Al Gore gives himself the finger. Or, is that his IQ?”
Now, I never really said it was Global Warming, I just meant climate change.
“It is all about the money! Tell the lie over and over then people begin to believe. Just don’t expect me to behave the way I tell others to!”
“Now – this here ‘Hockey Stick” can be used for two purposes. If you don’t believe that the data is truthful. Then I can hit you over the head with it.”
Wait now, I paid for my carbon footprint..
don’t you worry about how much energy i use it takes alot to heat and cool my mansion
“But now, wait a minute, let me explain…”
You better watch out, you better not pout and you better not cry I’m telling you why.
I have been intent on speaking that I haven’t heard one single thing that any reasonable scientist has said.
Hold it right there, I never lied until today.
Have I ever lied to you before?
Now listen O’Reilly, #&@#&, I know I won Florida, The fix was in! Gov. Bush hid my chads. The Supreme Court was rigged. Everybody was against me except the voters ……waaaaaaa
Just one moment! “We all know the leopard can’t change his stripes.”
This finger is for picking my nose, not for pointing out global warming.
The big round ball of fire in the sky does NOT cause global warming, Chevrolet Suburbans do. If it was the Sun then how would we ever have a warm Tennessee night?
Iam not a crook and I would never lie to you
“I never said that wearing Dr. Scholl’s would reduce your carbon footprint…”
I said – Quit trying to confuse me with facts! According to MY TRUTH ………
Don’t EVER doubt a Democrat–they invented the lies in the first place.
I never said that global warming wouldn’t result in freezing temperatures
“I told you this was going to happen if we didn’t make some changes.”
He did NOT say .Hope and Change,’ he said ‘Cope and Mange.’
This one thought gives me sleepless nights. If Tennesse had voted for me, I’d have been President of the USA.
“I never confessed that a hanging chad invented global warming.”
Believe it or not!
I invented the internet and I can take it away!
No! I do not drive an “eth ewe vee”!
One more time – Keith Olberman says global warming is true. No? He’s fired!
I only have one private jet and the carbon taxes on it are paid
“Listen up kids….You know things your parents don’t know.”
After I invented the internet, I invented global warming.
“I created the internet first”!
no .no I am not lying, you hear!
Al Gore a politician, his mouth is open so you know he is lying to someone!
Now just because you are feeling colder doesn’t mean that there is no global warming!
The only thing left in life that is free is the air that you breath, That’s why we will need to tax it.
Now trust me on this one. I did not cut down that cherry tree.
“Allegorically speaking….heh..see there….. I also invented a way of speaking.
I am the man.”
“Hay, I went to high school with Alex Haley; we’re walking home together one day and that’s where he got the idea for the book – ‘Roots”.
Oh no! Biden is not smarter than me….that’s just not right….
One of his own quotes works for me…there are so many to choose from:
“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” –Al Gore
Because, truth is stranger than fiction! LOL
“I told you once before I invented the Internet!”
My point is ah, hold on, give me a minute. O yes I thought I won Flordia.
I also invented….
I am NOT as stupid as I look!
I have the Media and Obama on my side. Going to win the Global Warming battle no matter the lies.
I was chosen to be the v.p. because the white house had to be sure the veep would be dumber than the pres. There just weren’t that many of us around.
Ya know, I used to be somebody.
“I went up one full collar size and it’s still too tight.”
Sure I eat lots of ice cream, it helps the polar bears!!
But…But…Let me Try to explain this..uh..Thing to you..uh who are..uh Obvisously smarter than me..uh..uh..
Ah! Zee global warming she is real! If you no trust me,
just ask my banker.
i can’t remember…..what comes after one?
No, I did not chop down the cherry tree!
“Listen up everyone, I have something stupid and untrue to say”.
“Now let there be no mistake, it is an inconvenient truth that I invented the internet.”